Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Sheldon Cooper in Me

sheldon cooper & me -okay, not me *laughing*
Sometimes when I'm watching The Big Bang Theory, I have this semi-uncomfortable feeling that I am oft-times too much like Sheldon Cooper. That I understand too much of what he says and does and it makes perfect sense to me, so that while I, and the studio audience, are laughing, I am also going, "Um . . . wait . . . we are laughing because this is a bit of the ridiculous . . . and so I am a bit of the ridiculous.” Teehee.

I know I have tics and weirdness and "ways I must do things." I know when I go into a hotel room, I first put down my luggage on a wooden surface and not on the floor in the case there are critters there hiding just so they can crawl into my luggage and snuggle in for the trip home. And then I immediately walk to the bed, lift the covers, and check out the sheets and the mattress. If I am in a Hampton Inn, which is where I try to stay because they sanitize their comforters and they are white--which shows everything!--I mostly feel I don’t have to remove the bedspread, but if I have to stay where there is one of those colorful bedspread, off it comes! Colorful bedspreads are made that way to hide stains and other icky nasty. The sheets best be white without any stains—stains will send me into apoplectic fits of EWWWWWWW. The mattress check is for signs of critters. And, to make things more weirdly embarrassing: during the middle of the night, at around 2 a.m., since that’s when an article said certain critters come out, I have to shine a light under the covers to make sure no critters have sneaked up on me and are feasting on my wittle legs. Well, so far, so good, I’ve not had to go screeching into the hotel hallway as if my hair’s on fire.

My place is at the left end of the couch. When company comes, I hurry to sit on that end, because it is My End; however, if someone beats me to it, unknowing that this is My End, then I will toss and turn upon the other end of the couch; I am displaced! I am uncomfortable –ungh! Ungh! I would never say anything to the displacer but as soon as they go home, I pounce upon My End of the couch and nestle it back to its former Me-ness. I have a few moments of, “It feels weird because someone else has been here,” which I must quickly overcome so I can enjoy My End again. Huhn.

I have rules about food. I’m not much of a meat eater, but when there is Meat Food prepared, it must be eaten within a certain amount of time. Usually about two days, preferably one. Yes, this is so. GMR will eat meat or meat-dishes a million days after it has been prepared, but not so I! I imagine it is spoiling almost immediately, growing nasty crawling critters, and souring, and I just will not eat it. Meatless food items may stay a little longer in my “I will eat this” category, but there are more Food Rules—I will not get into this right now, but they all make sense to me. erk.

When I shake a stranger’s hand, my hand tingles afterward. Because I begin to think, “I wonder where that hand’s been?” And the thought grows and grows until my hand tingles and I am just so AWARE of my hand! Sometimes this happens even if it is not a stranger and for this I can only ask for forgiveness. No one will ever know, because it is only me who can feel the critters crawling all over my hand. Ungh. Ungh. Sometimes this may be my “People Radar” going off—the radar that tells me something ain’t right about a person and I am taken aback by the force of those feelings, and sometimes it’s because I am just Weird.

Sometimes when I’m walking, I will step on a root or bump or something elevated in my path. Say I step on it with my right foot. Well, then the left foot begins to feel cheated. It wants to step on something elevated. I try to ignore it, but eventually, I give in and make sure I step on something elevated with the left foot. Sometimes, just to be mean to my left foot, I will step on something elevated numerous times with my right foot and say, “HA! THERE! Try to control ME will you! hahaha!”

Shall I go on? Well, I shall not because I’m of the belief that you must leak out your crazy a teeny bit at a time. Let people become used to it. Lull them into a sense of how they think you are quirky and slightly sweet and loveable, and then they accept all the crazy-arse stuff you throw at them without blinking an incredulous eye hardly one bit, hardly.

 What about you? Have any quirks you want to share?

PS - As an aside - whenever I find out there is going to be a "Special Promotion" for my books, I always want to let y'all know they are coming. From around December 17th until 23rd, The Firefly Dance and Sweetie will be on a special Amazon Kindle promo. I believe they are pricing them for $1.99 for just that time. A head's up - in case you are interested. You all know I get all irkity talking about my books because I want this to be a "car salesman free zone" :-D haw! But, dang, this is a deal! Later y'all.


Terri Tiffany said...

LOL You made me smile--so I am not so weird after all too:) I do refuse to check out hotel beds. My husband does it and I say I don't want to know if there is something there. Ugh. We also have our own spots in our living room but I manage to make it to my seat before my company takes my chair:)
I also LOVE that show!

KarenG said...

Okay I am officially laughing here. This is the funniest stuff and I loved every word of it. I don't know about The Big Bang Theory, never watched it, but I do know a few people with quirks similar to you, some of whom are related to me. Okay, they might even be me, or not. One might be my son who at age 25 will ask a grown person when they come out of the bathroom, "Did you wash your hands?"

Thanks for the tips about your books. That means I can get 2 for the price of 1 and I will do that. I'm glad you give out some bits on your books. I've been following you for over a year and didn't know what you wrote until your last post where you gave all the info. I guess I could have made an effort to find out but I'm basically lazy that way.

Liza said...

I don't watch Big Bang Theory, but I sure do have my place on the couch.

Susan R. Mills said...

You crack me up! I have some weird little quirks, but no, I don't think I'd like to share them right now. :)

Eddie Bluelights said...


Warning Kat: The men in white coats are on their way. LOL

I have always wondered why Sheldon insists that no-one sits in his place. Now I know!

Regarding the critters and your apparent concerns - you know I think if any of us actually thought about it we would all act like that, so I have just cancelled the men in white coats. You are nearly normal LOL. Loved the post and I am a big fan of Big Bang Theory.

When you said you had a lot in common with Sheldon at first I thought you were going to blind us with science like E = MC squared, or expound Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity LOL

NCmountainwoman said...

When we are staying in a hotel, the first thing I have to do is to look at the diagram on the back of the door. Then I go out and count the number of rooms between me and the nearest stairs.

Thanks for the heads up on the Kindle book. I will definitely take advantage of the bargain price.

www, said...

Even though I keep obsessively clean floors, I cannot walk around the house unless I am wearing flip flops. I have several pair in different areas just waiting for me. Yes, a little odd. Oh well.

Lana :-)

Carolyn V said...

That's just awesome. I do some of those things too. *blushes*

I have a hard time touching anything like hand rails or door knobs. My hands feel gross afterwards and I have to wash it as soon as possible! Ew. It give me shivers just thinking of it. ;)

rosaria said...

Since we are confessing, let me tell you that I freeze leftovers after just one day, just because, and I put a date on the label. I do this so that I have decent food for Hubby should I ever not be around for any length of time...

The irony? My husband would definitely take himself to a restaurant for great food, at exorbitant prices if I were not around. Leftovers are fine, he says, but he prefers eating fresh and well prepared food rather than something he has had plenty of.
Thanks for the visit,btw.

rosaria said...

p.s. thanks for the promo info.

Karen S. Elliott said...

I'm very laid back in my own place, except if the display on the microwave is not reset to show the clock. I live alone and clean up as I go through my day, so I don't normally have a mess, but a drip of coffee on the counter and I'm reaching for the dishrag. I sit on the same side of the couch all the time, but that's because it's the only place to sit and see the t.v. (small trailer!). I keep the files on my desk in perfect symetry. I have two items on the top of the frig, and they are perfectly aligned. Car alarms and squeaky things make me nuts. Nope, no quirks here.

Diane said...

Love that show and love you even more with all your quirks! :O)

colbymarshall said...

Hahaha! Tingly hands- too funny!

Mine: 1.) I hate to touch metal. I'll go out of my way not to. I can taste it when I touch it. 2.) I associate colors with people, things, etc. It doesn't seem to have a "reason." For example, I've always associated my mother with light blue, Thursday with green, and the letter Q with brown.

colbymarshall said...

Heehee- got your comment, and I was so excited you knew the term color synesthesia! Did you know it before me? I'm so curious! I'm the only person I've ever *met* who has it! Here's my blog post on it (from 2008) if you're interested!

Barbara Forte Abate said...

OMG, but you are such a hoot! I am a lover of quirks if only because they so often can't be changed, rarely come as a result of conscientious planning, and just add that little something special to our own unique packaging.

As much as I enjoyed your post, I am just THRILLED to see your postscript about the upcoming Amazon promo! Just in the nick of time, luck and good timing have come to call on moi, as Sweetie & The Firefly Dance are the two missing books of my current "Kat Collection." Whats more, I just received a check from my own publisher in the amount of $6.38 so I can buy both books and still have money left over for a box of Milk Duds! Ah, life is good :-)