The Sheldon Cooper in Me

sheldon cooper & me -okay, not me *laughing*

Sometimes when I'm watching The Big Bang Theory, I have this semi-uncomfortable feeling that I am oft-times too much like Sheldon Cooper. That I understand too much of what he says and does and it makes perfect sense to me, so that while I, and the studio audience, are laughing, I am also going, "Um . . . wait . . . we are laughing because this is a bit of the ridiculous . . . and so I am a bit of the ridiculous.” Teehee.


I know I have tics and weirdness and "ways I must do things." I know when I go into a hotel room, I first put down my luggage on a wooden surface and not on the floor in the case there are critters there hiding just so they can crawl into my luggage and snuggle in for the trip home. And then I immediately walk to the bed, lift the covers, and check out the sheets and the mattress. If I am in a Hampton Inn, which is where I try to stay because they sanitize their comforters and they are white--which shows everything!--I mostly feel I don’t have to remove the bedspread, but if I have to stay where there is one of those colorful bedspread, off it comes! Colorful bedspreads are made that way to hide stains and other icky nasty. The sheets best be white without any stains—stains will send me into apoplectic fits of EWWWWWWW. The mattress check is for signs of critters. And, to make things more weirdly embarrassing: during the middle of the night, at around 2 a.m., since that’s when an article said certain critters come out, I have to shine a light under the covers to make sure no critters have sneaked up on me and are feasting on my wittle legs. Well, so far, so good, I’ve not had to go screeching into the hotel hallway as if my hair’s on fire.

My place is at the left end of the couch. When company comes, I hurry to sit on that end, because it is My End; however, if someone beats me to it, unknowing that this is My End, then I will toss and turn upon the other end of the couch; I am displaced! I am uncomfortable –ungh! Ungh! I would never say anything to the displacer but as soon as they go home, I pounce upon My End of the couch and nestle it back to its former Me-ness. I have a few moments of, “It feels weird because someone else has been here,” which I must quickly overcome so I can enjoy My End again. Huhn.

I have rules about food. I’m not much of a meat eater, but when there is Meat Food prepared, it must be eaten within a certain amount of time. Usually about two days, preferably one. Yes, this is so. GMR will eat meat or meat-dishes a million days after it has been prepared, but not so I! I imagine it is spoiling almost immediately, growing nasty crawling critters, and souring, and I just will not eat it. Meatless food items may stay a little longer in my “I will eat this” category, but there are more Food Rules—I will not get into this right now, but they all make sense to me. erk.

When I shake a stranger’s hand, my hand tingles afterward. Because I begin to think, “I wonder where that hand’s been?” And the thought grows and grows until my hand tingles and I am just so AWARE of my hand! Sometimes this happens even if it is not a stranger and for this I can only ask for forgiveness. No one will ever know, because it is only me who can feel the critters crawling all over my hand. Ungh. Ungh. Sometimes this may be my “People Radar” going off—the radar that tells me something ain’t right about a person and I am taken aback by the force of those feelings, and sometimes it’s because I am just Weird.

Sometimes when I’m walking, I will step on a root or bump or something elevated in my path. Say I step on it with my right foot. Well, then the left foot begins to feel cheated. It wants to step on something elevated. I try to ignore it, but eventually, I give in and make sure I step on something elevated with the left foot. Sometimes, just to be mean to my left foot, I will step on something elevated numerous times with my right foot and say, “HA! THERE! Try to control ME will you! hahaha!”

Shall I go on? Well, I shall not because I’m of the belief that you must leak out your crazy a teeny bit at a time. Let people become used to it. Lull them into a sense of how they think you are quirky and slightly sweet and loveable, and then they accept all the crazy-arse stuff you throw at them without blinking an incredulous eye hardly one bit, hardly.

 What about you? Have any quirks you want to share?

PS - As an aside - whenever I find out there is going to be a "Special Promotion" for my books, I always want to let y'all know they are coming. From around December 17th until 23rd, The Firefly Dance and Sweetie will be on a special Amazon Kindle promo. I believe they are pricing them for $1.99 for just that time. A head's up - in case you are interested. You all know I get all irkity talking about my books because I want this to be a "car salesman free zone" :-D haw! But, dang, this is a deal! Later y'all.