And I said to myself: what a wunnerful world, unless it stops spinning or the sky falls or the stars quit burning or the sun hits the moon or....

Osondu's Booksellers is sponsoring a Book Signing Party for TENDER GRACES at the bookstore on April 17th! How exciting. It'll be from 7-9pm and there will be champagne and food. The cut-off is fifty people. She has ordered enough books to accommodate that number. If you are in the Waynesville North Carolina area, call Margaret and reserve your spot! I'd love to see you there.

Now. This is where Kat Magendie begins to fray at the edges and starts blinking into the headlights and her stomach tumbles around like an old-timey ferris wheel gone mad. Because Kat starts worrying, "What if hardly anyone shows up? What if I'm standing in the bookstore trying to pretend it doesn't matter that only a couple of people show and there are all those books sitting there and the food congeals and the champagne un-bubblefies." Then, Kat will have to grab the champagne and upend it and pour it down her throat and glub it down and drown out her sorrows...oh geez.

This is just some of the terror of realizing your dream. But, even saying that makes me hit myself upside my pea-head: one thing I can't stand is whiney writers - not wine-y writers, those are okay - WHINE-Y writers! I mean, all the time I dealt with rejection and another writer realized his/her dream and if he/she whined about it? Well, that just made me mad! SHUT UP, I'd think - you are getting your book published...sheesh!

Okay, Picture It: You write the book; long hours alone and neglecting family and friends. You suffer rejection time after time. Finally, that glorious day comes and you find someone who loves your book and even says, "we are proud to publish this book..." Oh! Oh! The heavens clear, the skies blaze with sunlight and moonlight all at the same time, the birds start singing like on a Disney movie, all is right with the world! And, you live happily ever after, right? All worries gone, right?

Well, not for this old girl. Do NOT get me wrong: this is a wonderful problem to have. These are wonderful problems to have and I am grateful and I recognize this is HOT DANG YAY TIME; because these "problems and anxieties" mean I am realizing my dream of having You hold Tender Graces in your hands - I can't tell you what that means to me (I am trying to tell you, but words won't for a change - you'd have to see the sincerity in my eyes, feel the warmth radiating - the hope you will love Virginia Kate and all the others: Micah, Andy, Miss Darla, Bobby, Rebekha, Mrs. Mendel, Amy and Mr. Husband Campinelle, and even love Katie Ivene and Frederick, and love to hate mean old Aunt Ruby, and despise Uncle Ar-vile. The thought of all those hands holding the weight of my words overcomes me ...truly...the gratitude is realized upon awaking and before sleeping and all in between - know that.)

So, the Dream is arriving, or has arrived, but all those anxieties slip in under the skin and slide around anyway, because that's what they do, that's their job!

You may remember this one: What if I only sell four books -- well that one was proved wrong! Bellebooks said that pre-orders are coming in DAILY! They are happy and that makes me happy! SO THANK YOU ALL; If I could send individual thanks, I would - believe me. So, I can lay that particular anxiety aside for now -- I've sold more than four books. I won't EVEN start thinking: "Hmmmm, NYT bestseller list? ...hmmmm, what about....." nope not going there.

What if no one comes to my first booksigning party?

What if no one comes to any of my booksignings - and how many should I do? and are booksignings really even done anymore? and where should I have them? and should I do "virtual blog tours?" and etcetera etcetera etcetera

What if I get a bad review?:::What if no one else reviews it?

What if there is a HUGE error in the book I didn't find?

What if the sky should fall? what if the earth should stop turning? what if a big black hole should suck me up and I'm lost forever and my molecules are ripped apart and a gamillion pieces of me rain down on the earth and no one even notices it is a gamillion pieces of me raining down and I soak into the earth and weird flowers come up with my pea-head on them (um, what? okay, Kat, take deeeeep breaths - go do some yoga girl; you're losing it....teeheeheehee).

What I'm trying to say in my weird way is: Dreams coming true are wonderful, but full of their own stresses -- good stresses, "bad" stresses....If you are like me, you begin to attach THINGS to yourself that perhaps you should not. I should instead go back to the original feeling of accomplishment that I'd written a novel, and then that feeling when BelleBooks said, "we want to publish Tender Graces...." and then the wonderful feeling of my friends and family (my blog friends and family included) telling me how happy and proud of me they are: that's the thing right there -- that, and the original feeling of YOU holding my book in your hands and loving the language, the words, the characters....ahhhh, now I feel much much better. Deep Breath: done.

I always want to say "writers are weird" but I realize it's probably just Me that is weird and the writer part is only the excuse I use for my eccentricities....haw!

*MUWAH* .... (now, on to work on The Rose & Thorn newsletter that I've been neglecting and is due to go out soon! It will distract me from my weirdness for a while....haw! Here's where you can sign up for the newsletter. And, I need to do a review for Kerry Madden's Maggie Valley Trilogy. And I want to visit you all again. And what else....la la la la tee dah! I really do love my life! *BIG FAT GRIN*)