In the Car: Scene from a Marriage

Me: OMG! Watch out! You’ll hit that squirrel!


GMR: It’ll move out of the way.


Me: but what if it doesn’t? You didn’t even slow down! What if it isn’t paying attention and you run it over . . .


GMR: It didn’t; look, it’s running off.


Me: But you COULD have run over it is what I’m saying. You didn’t even slow down is what I’m saying. It could have happened because you don’t slow down but instead just barrell on ahead, oblivious to things in your way.


GMR: *his inside head: - but it didn’t happen, so there!* His outside mouth saying: *sigghhhhhh*


Later:

Me: OMG! You hit that bird. Omg omg! Poor little bird! You didn’t slow down and see see seeeee! You hit it! I TOLD you this would happen.


GMR: I hit it? Did I? Are you sure?


Me: Yes! I saw it… oh oh ugh – ohhh, poor little bird. I told you and told you to slow down when you see critters! *unnghhh unngghhh* poor bird. I can't stand it.


GMR: I’m sorry! *said in a not really THAT sorry voice; the bird shouldn't have been that stupid, and in fact it wasn't, for that bird got out of the way, so there*


Me: When we drive back this way, I hope I don’t see that bird with its guts hanging out. Ohhh ughhnnnnn.


Later:

No dead bird is seen.


GMR: *doesn’t say anything on the outside, but on the inside is going nya nya nya – no bird with guts hanging out – so it flew off nya nya*


Me: I bet it dragged its little self off in the grass somewhere. I bet it’s cheeping out its last breaths out of its bloody beak as I speak. Ugnnggghhh. Poor little bird. I told you to slow down!


GMR: sighhhhhhh.



Later:

Me: Why do you always back into the parking spaces?


GMR: because it’s faster when I pull out.


Me: But, it takes longer to back in, so doesn’t that make it a wash? I mean, if you spend extra time backing in, it nullifies the pulling out quickly, doesn’t it?


GMR: Sighhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, I won't back in next time.

Me: No, don't just agree with me. I'm asking because I am curious. What I'm saying is: I'm asking you: Is it really faster? I'm curious. If you back in to get out faster, is it really faster in the Long Run . . . you know, if the time is added up ToGether. Not just pulling out, but the action of backing in AND the action of pulling out added together. Is that faster or is that a wash, thereby nullifying your theory of it being faster?

GMR: Huhn?




Later:

Me: OMG! You almost killed us! You need to pay attention! That truck is three times our size! SPLAT KABLAM, we could be dead right now! I haven't finished the edits on my novel - I'll be dead and with an unfinished work - oh no! Unngghhhhh. I wonder if my friends or family will know to look in my hard drive . . . If we'd burst into flames, that saves my cremation cost, right? Oh, but maybe not... OH! I don't want to think about that! Gross! Stop my brain from thinking about it! This is what happens when you almost get hit by a big truck thrice your size! Be careful, okay? That's all I'm saying, just be careful. We could be dead Right Now!


GMR: But I didn’t kill us. Um . . .

Me: But you COULD have!


GMR: sighhhhhh.


Later:

GMR: #*#*$& MOVE!!! #*#@*$#! *races up to the bumper of other car, angrily flicks his blinker, careens around it, then as he passes, he gives them the look, aggressively unflicks his blinker, and then races in front of them to haul ass away with a “that’ll show em attitude"*


Me: OMG! Are we running a race? I mean really? Are we? Running a race? this is a small town; we don't have to go ninety to nothing down Highway 19, okay?


GMR: They were (out of towners from a certain state that NCers have a rivalry with) and they pulled right out in front of me and then go slow and it drives me crazy! I hate that—they could have more courtesy; they don’t own the roads here! – actually GMR doesn’t SAY all this aloud, actually, he just gets THAT LOOK and says, "O'KAY, All RIGHT..." *sighhhhhhhhhhh*


Me: Still. Huhn.


Later:

Me: OMG! Do you have to race up then slow down, race up then slow down, race up then slow down? Drives me insane!


GMR: I’m not doing that.


Me: Yes you are, too! Stop it . . . drives me in-SANE.


GMR: okay okay *inside voice says I am SO not doing that* sighhhh.


Me: Well, I dreamed we got into an accident so you have to be more careful.


GMR: *inside voice: not those dreams again . . . * outside voice, “Okay.”


Me: You SAY okay, but are you really listening?


GMR: I’m listening. I said okay.


Me: But I mean LISTENING. Not just hearing words come out my mouth and hearing those words, but actually HEARING them and then PROCESSING them so that you UNDERSTAND them!


GMR: uh huh


Me: Sigghhhhhhh.

I'm so excited! and I ain't gonna hide it, I was about to lose control but thank gawd I didn't....haw!

I am feeling calmer. Ommmmm. Ommmmmm. Ommmygawdmmmmmm (teeheehee). Well, an excited calmer anyway ...

First. My brother in Texas has already received his Tender Grace books! No Faiiirrrrr; I'm telling Moommmmmm. He called me up all excited and happy and jumping around opening up the box and then describing stuff to me. I asked, "How heavy is it? What color pink is it? What does it feel like? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?" Then he said he was just sitting there petting my book *laughing*....I said, "I want my boooookkkkssss...." He just laughed and said, "Nya nya nya nya nya; I got the first Tender Graces books! hahahahahahaha!" .....ah, brothers and sisters.

Here is something that eased my mind, too, though, not just that my books are actually real and I didn't dream all this, and the proof is in the call I received from Tommy that he has my book! haw! I was stressed thinking about book signings and promo materials and all manner of things I thought I needed to do to be An Author.....silly me; I forgot that being an author has to do with words and language.

BelleBooks put it into perspective for me, and after that, I calmed. They told me that word of mouth and good reviews are what helps to sell your book. They told me to get to work on the second book - that is what is important right now. To not worry about Promo Materials like bookmarks and the like (for those most times get tossed away and forgotten - it is the words the writer writes that are remembered). They said not to knock myself out trying to do book signings all over - to choose some places I think I'd enjoy and do them there.

The main message is this: Word of Mouth. Good Reviews. Get the second book written!

So, for any of you who read Tender Graces and like/love it, then you tell someone else about it, and/or write up a review/thoughts on Amazon, or B&N, or Target, or your blog - or all of them (laughing!). Telling other readers about an author's book is one of the greatest compliments a writer can have. And the greatest help an author can have. You all have already been doing this - before you even see the book and my gratitude is mighty mighty MIGHTY. Thank you.

In my google alerts this morning, I found a review for TG at Scooper Speaks. It made my morning to read it - when someone takes the time to read your work and then write about it, well, as I said: it is a compliment and a joy.

I have two reviews on Amazon....teeheehee. Made me happy.

So, what I'm feeling today is Happy. Tommy told his big sister: "Sister, ENJOY this -- enjoy all these moments..." And I know that is the advice I have given and would give to others. I'm putting aside the anxiety I had all day yesterday and instead, I am going to enjoy all these moments! These FIRSTS will never happen the same way again....they'll never be firsts.

Soon, my good friends, I will be scarce. I am making some decisions. Like, backing away from book reviews for a while...much as I hate to, for I love doing them, the last couple I have done do not seem up to my standards (I'm too distracted and busy!). I'll be looking at some other things, as well, that need a second look. As for this blog, I certainly am not going to abandon it (gawd no!~) but, as I begin serious work on the second novel in the Virginia Kate Saga, I will need to place almost all my energies there. I would love to post my progress, but visiting will be cut way back - you know how it is; you visit and you read and next you know hours have gone by! So please forgive me if in the coming months you rarely see my little icon and "Haws!" and "LAUGHINGS!" and comments in your comments....although I am selfish and hope you will still come by here ...teeheehee!

Today feels like a good good day. It started off good with that review I found; and from the conversation with Tommy and with BelleBooks last night to pave the way for this good day. I am going to take a mountain walk soon to clear my head, and then get some busy work done.

HAPPY DAY, Everyone! And, soon you should be receiving your books! Oh, I can't wait! I'm so excited!

image google images: www.clipartguide.com/_pages/0511-0811-0316-49...

MY BOOKS ARE HERE! I HAVE A COPY OF TENDER GRACES ON MY LAP; ANOTHER ON MY SHELF; THE OTHERS WAITING TO GO WHERE THEY NEED TO GO! IT'S REAL! I HAVE A PUBLISHED NOVEL! OH SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! I THINK I'M GOING TO EITHER CRY, THROW UP, SCREAM YAYYY, OR FAINT--all all of those things! laughing.....

Take me home, or curving roads...to the place I belong! Mountain Mama; I am home....

Home. All the snow melted before I arrived and it has warmed up enough to open the door. The breeze blows the chimes and the creek rushes -- oh home on my mountain cove at Killian Knob!

Last night, our old fat raccoon came calling to the squirrel feeder. She was early --as very old people who go to cafeterias do. Oh, what am I saying? I am like an old country granny sometimes as I eat my dinner at 4'o'clock--while watching Golden Girls (when they are on).

I have so much to do, but last night I slept the sleep of one who is so exhausted they just drop down, drop far down, drop long way down, drop deep into the far reaches of nothingness of sleep. I know I dreamed at some point, but do not remember them. Far far far down I fell. Deep and heavy. I woke only two or three times. This morning when I woke, I was disoriented....where am I? What? Who? When? How? I rose from my bed, the morning sunshine slipping through the windows - and my legs were actually shaky. I blinked. I put on my robe and shuffled to splash my face with cold water. In the kitchen, I poured cup 1 of Deep Creek Blend. We later took a mountain walk to clear my head. It is still a bit swirly, but better.

I hope to get by to visit you today, but if you do not see me today, you will tomorrow. I thank you thank you for still coming by even though I have not been round your places -- please know it is only because of circumstance of the novel and travel and etc.....soon, I will have to work on the second novel draft (oh thank gawd it is partly written already!). What a problem to have though, right? *smiling* -- what a problem to have....ah.

Later my friends. Thank you to all you who have pre-ordered Tender Graces - *muwah* -- and thank you for all your kind words. and for visiting. and for commenting. For everything you do.

(And later I'll tell you some good news I have -- I'm rushing now. )

I gots a joy joy joy joy up on Kilian Knob, up on Killian knob to-dayyyy

I'm peeping in quickly! Tommorrow I'll have a guest blogger: I have one more peek at Tender Graces before it's out of my hands ....eek! I can't change any of the text and all that, this is just to make sure the things we caught and listed were fixed. If there is anything else in there, well, consider it Human Error .... thing is, you'll know me now and you'll read it and say, "Hey! Here's one of Kat's unfound errors! I found one I found one!" then you can email me and we'll laugh about it....haw! Um, I think we'll laugh...hmmmm....teehee.

Then, I also have to finish The Rose & Thorn newsletter; get my next book review done, and etcetera.

This morning, I was walking Fat Lazy Labrador Jake in the cove at Killian Knob and as I turned the curve in the road where the creek stays on my right, I passed where the water rushes down from the mountain into the creek and I felt a sudden Joy....as sudden as the wind that came tearing down the ridge and across FLLJ and me - the wind pounded my face and I laughed because it didn't hurt at all-the wind laughed too - The sounds of the singing creek, the rush of the water runoff from our recent rains, the wind washing over us and blasting through the still-bare trees with a roar, the spring birds that had earlier woke me (oh, I recognize the ones who have been gone and now returned!) -- all of this brought up my sudden joy.

I thought, as I rounded that curve, how lucky I am. Farther down, I glimpsed the distant Smokies - awe awe awe awe awe-some Grandfather and Grandmother mountains. There are ancient souls here - I feel them sometimes; I see them in orbs and once the Shadowman came to visit me; I am not afraid of them, in fact, they comfort me. (Which reminds me - while I was sitting by Frank in the hospital, I saw something pass over him - it was misty and had no shape, but it was SOMEthing -i t passed right over him....and then a few days later while Tommy was lying in the emergency room, I saw an orb race across the room and arc over him and then away---imagination? lights playing tricks? my exhaustion? our brother? our granny? someone else? I don't know, but I know I saw something).

So, I am feeling lucky and awed and wonderful and it struck me that No Matter what happens with Tender Graces, I am still loved and wanted and so very lucky to live where I live. If you took away my writing life (oh, I can't imagine that - but let's entertain it)...if Tender Graces weren't being published, if I'd never published anything, if I was "just" this Mountain Woman living in my little cove at Killian Knob, walking Fat Lazy Lab Jake, being loved and spoilt rotten by Good Man Roger, hearing and seeing all the things I do, well then, my good friends, that is a pretty dagum wonderful life, isn't it? That is the Dream Life I once dreamed about when my life was in disorder and pain. I am blessed? lucky? whatever you want to call it, this is a wonderful life I live.

I smile. I enjoy. I appreciate. What a lovely place. I give you my peace and serenity this morning. Yes, I must get to work, but I start my work with a feeling of joy - for how lucky am I? Not only do I have my little log house and my little life here at Killian Knob, but my novel IS being published, and I do have some little things out there published, and people ARE enjoying my work and my fur is being rubbed off so that I feel loved.

Namaste. *muwah!*

And I said to myself: what a wunnerful world, unless it stops spinning or the sky falls or the stars quit burning or the sun hits the moon or....

Osondu's Booksellers is sponsoring a Book Signing Party for TENDER GRACES at the bookstore on April 17th! How exciting. It'll be from 7-9pm and there will be champagne and food. The cut-off is fifty people. She has ordered enough books to accommodate that number. If you are in the Waynesville North Carolina area, call Margaret and reserve your spot! I'd love to see you there.

Now. This is where Kat Magendie begins to fray at the edges and starts blinking into the headlights and her stomach tumbles around like an old-timey ferris wheel gone mad. Because Kat starts worrying, "What if hardly anyone shows up? What if I'm standing in the bookstore trying to pretend it doesn't matter that only a couple of people show and there are all those books sitting there and the food congeals and the champagne un-bubblefies." Then, Kat will have to grab the champagne and upend it and pour it down her throat and glub it down and drown out her sorrows...oh geez.

This is just some of the terror of realizing your dream. But, even saying that makes me hit myself upside my pea-head: one thing I can't stand is whiney writers - not wine-y writers, those are okay - WHINE-Y writers! I mean, all the time I dealt with rejection and another writer realized his/her dream and if he/she whined about it? Well, that just made me mad! SHUT UP, I'd think - you are getting your book published...sheesh!

Okay, Picture It: You write the book; long hours alone and neglecting family and friends. You suffer rejection time after time. Finally, that glorious day comes and you find someone who loves your book and even says, "we are proud to publish this book..." Oh! Oh! The heavens clear, the skies blaze with sunlight and moonlight all at the same time, the birds start singing like on a Disney movie, all is right with the world! And, you live happily ever after, right? All worries gone, right?

Well, not for this old girl. Do NOT get me wrong: this is a wonderful problem to have. These are wonderful problems to have and I am grateful and I recognize this is HOT DANG YAY TIME; because these "problems and anxieties" mean I am realizing my dream of having You hold Tender Graces in your hands - I can't tell you what that means to me (I am trying to tell you, but words won't for a change - you'd have to see the sincerity in my eyes, feel the warmth radiating - the hope you will love Virginia Kate and all the others: Micah, Andy, Miss Darla, Bobby, Rebekha, Mrs. Mendel, Amy and Mr. Husband Campinelle, and even love Katie Ivene and Frederick, and love to hate mean old Aunt Ruby, and despise Uncle Ar-vile. The thought of all those hands holding the weight of my words overcomes me ...truly...the gratitude is realized upon awaking and before sleeping and all in between - know that.)

So, the Dream is arriving, or has arrived, but all those anxieties slip in under the skin and slide around anyway, because that's what they do, that's their job!

You may remember this one: What if I only sell four books -- well that one was proved wrong! Bellebooks said that pre-orders are coming in DAILY! They are happy and that makes me happy! SO THANK YOU ALL; If I could send individual thanks, I would - believe me. So, I can lay that particular anxiety aside for now -- I've sold more than four books. I won't EVEN start thinking: "Hmmmm, NYT bestseller list? ...hmmmm, what about....." nope not going there.

What if no one comes to my first booksigning party?

What if no one comes to any of my booksignings - and how many should I do? and are booksignings really even done anymore? and where should I have them? and should I do "virtual blog tours?" and etcetera etcetera etcetera

What if I get a bad review?:::What if no one else reviews it?

What if there is a HUGE error in the book I didn't find?

What if the sky should fall? what if the earth should stop turning? what if a big black hole should suck me up and I'm lost forever and my molecules are ripped apart and a gamillion pieces of me rain down on the earth and no one even notices it is a gamillion pieces of me raining down and I soak into the earth and weird flowers come up with my pea-head on them (um, what? okay, Kat, take deeeeep breaths - go do some yoga girl; you're losing it....teeheeheehee).

What I'm trying to say in my weird way is: Dreams coming true are wonderful, but full of their own stresses -- good stresses, "bad" stresses....If you are like me, you begin to attach THINGS to yourself that perhaps you should not. I should instead go back to the original feeling of accomplishment that I'd written a novel, and then that feeling when BelleBooks said, "we want to publish Tender Graces...." and then the wonderful feeling of my friends and family (my blog friends and family included) telling me how happy and proud of me they are: that's the thing right there -- that, and the original feeling of YOU holding my book in your hands and loving the language, the words, the characters....ahhhh, now I feel much much better. Deep Breath: done.

I always want to say "writers are weird" but I realize it's probably just Me that is weird and the writer part is only the excuse I use for my eccentricities....haw!

*MUWAH* .... (now, on to work on The Rose & Thorn newsletter that I've been neglecting and is due to go out soon! It will distract me from my weirdness for a while....haw! Here's where you can sign up for the newsletter. And, I need to do a review for Kerry Madden's Maggie Valley Trilogy. And I want to visit you all again. And what else....la la la la tee dah! I really do love my life! *BIG FAT GRIN*)

Pea-headed Kat Boops workin' on the weekend....

(photo taken of signs of spring at Lake Junaluska as I walked the other morning...ahhhhh)

I am peepin' my pea-head in here to say hello very quickly before getting back to work. I am reading the galley proof of Tender Graces and to do that I have to actually read it "word by word" --which means I can't read as I would normally. It's verrrryyyy sloowww but, if I don't do it that way, I won't catch errors that are hiding in there. Bellebooks does their reading of it, the author does hers, and I am having Good Man Roger read it as well. And, despite all of our efforts, I just know there will be a mistake or two in there - erk! It won't be because we didn't scour Tender Graces with Eagle Eyes, more than once. I did visit you all the other day, hope I didn't leave anyone out, and if I did, call me on it! Until I make this deadline, though, I'm going to be locked in this room and working, um, teehee, er, except I am here right now and I need to be there...so, I'll make this quick. Please continue to bear with me for not visiting and posting as I usually do.

I so appreciate Gumbo Writer Angie Ledbetter and Brian Mongold of Eazy Cheezy (click and read if you haven't) for being my Guest Bloggers. THANK YOU!

Also~! Brian of Eazy Cheezy interviewed me on his "Ten Questions..." series: he made me feel like a celebrity....teehee. If you haven't been by there and read, well, here's the link: Kat's Interview with Brian.

I do have this news: My book will actually be in at least one library in East Baton Rouge! Okay, maybe that doesn't sound so exciting, but it is to me! I love and adore libraries and am so excited. And, my local indie bookseller just ordered a very nice number of books so we could have a book-signing party - complete with champagne! and she's making this signing "reservation only" -wow! If you are in the area, let me know if you'd like to come...*smiling* -- if you have an indie bookseller you love in your area, let me know about it: that's what I'd love to do, have signings at indie's, at least where I can.

I send you a big ole Hug and Kiss - *MUWAH* -- send me positive vibes that I'll catch all those errors and make my deadline!

And for those who've pre-ordered, I want to take a moment to say I thank you...I am humbled and honored: THANK YOU~!

(PS -Hey, for you girls - I bought some Okay Pro-X cream in a tube - I splurged - I'll let y'all know if it is worth the extra bucks I paid for it!)

On the day that I was born....la la la tee dah...

NOTE FROM KAT! I'm laughing at myself - I kept wondering "why are people wishing me a happy birthday?" then I looked back over my post and the title *laughing!* what a dummy I am -- Okay, today isn't my birthday - it's actually later this month....but, I'll accept birthday wishes and chocolate and gifts and botox for my forehead butt and.....laughing....*knock on my head*

When I get up in the morning, it's log in log in log in log in check this check that...I think I have too many places to go and people to see *laugh* ... but while I'm doing that, sometimes I'll come across the MSN page or Google page and see something that'll distract me/catch my eye and send me off on a tangent so that I "waste" part of my morning.

Like....what moon were you born under? here's mine: On the day you were born, the Moon was in Capricorn. Your emotional nature is very earthy and direct. You use caution before you show your feelings to someone, since you fear rejection. But you shouldn't! You have loyalty and love to offer a romantic partner, you take care of your family members, and you have a very dry and witty sense of humor with those who know you.

And, while I was thinking about being born, I put "1957" in google just to see what would show up.

I was feeling silly then, and just out of curiosity, I typed "my toe" into google...

Then I went by the Dream Dictionary and looked for "Giant Chicken" but it wasn't there! Humph. Well, dang it all, guess I'll never figure out the meaning of the giant chicken dream. However, when I googled about giant chicken dreams (which was interesting and in some cases a bit disturbing), I found where apparently someone else had a giant chicken in their dream! ha!

Then I read how the planet Uranus was first named George. Huhn. So. I guess it was the knowledge that in classrooms everywhere children would twitter whenever the teach would say, "And the planet Uranus..." *twitter twitter wink wink - did you hear that, she said ur-anus...twitter twitter*... no one thinks George is very funny or even very interesting - sorry George's of the world - it's a perfectly fine name, just not for a planet I suppose.

What kinds of places do you like to browse? Any funny or interesting sites you want to share?

Okay, I need to get to work now -but first, I'll come round visting!

(I have a story up, too *smiling* on Sotto Voce...something a little different from my usual.)