Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This old marriage thang: When Kat has the little log house to herse'f

GMR just returned from a trip to South Louisiana--Baton Rouge & Paulina--where he visited with friends from his high school days at Fortier HS in New Orleans, and even more important, where he saw for the first time his son's new baby Ian Paul. Now between us we have four grandkids!

I wasn't able to go on this trip, and while here alone, I notice how without GMR goading/reminding me to eat (or to cook it himself *haw*) I do not do so well with eating "right." In fact, I was watching OWN's Super Skinny vs Super Size and when the doctor told one of the young women she was eating an amount a four year old would eat, I noticed it looked more than I'd had - lawd!

Mostly, I ate sandwiches, followed by baked potato, followed by canned soup/tuna. In other words, the quickest crap I could pull together. Now, less you think I ate unhealthy crapadoodle-doodoo; I really did not, for I had yogurt and lots-o-fruit and such. But, I just do not eat enough or a variety of foods when left to my own devices.

While he is gone the house stays spotless. He’s going to read this and go, “Hey!” and give me one of his looks of disbelief and woebegonity and all that jazz. But it is true. I clean the house the day he leaves and it stays the same until he returns when all hell breaks loose. Quit looking at me like that GMR. It’s true.

On the flipside, he does his own laundry (but hey, so do I, just sayin!), and there are things that I don’t have to do because he most all the time does them first: empties the dehumidifiers, puts out and takes in the bird feeders and such and all, cooks real food, puts gas in my car, "makes groceries." That’s another thing—when he isn’t here I become completely reclusive. I mean more than usual. I will walk the dogs in the cove, but my car does not move from its spot the entire time he’s gone unless there is some really important reason for me to leave—and not having any real food in the house wouldn’t be one of them, for I’d just find some sumpin to throw on a plate.

He returned last night, and already this morning he is itching to go to The Grocery. He calls it “the grocery” – I hear that in New Orleans people a lot. “I’m going to The Grocery now.” When I wrote “going to grocery” in my novel(s), a beta reader said, “don’t you mean “to the grocery store?” Naw. Just to The Grocery, or to Make Groceries, because I am honoring GMR and his late momma, who also said “zink” instead of “sink.”

While he is gone, I have the entire bed to myself. Thing is, I really only put a foot or arm over there every so often just because I can, but mainly I am so used to being scrunched on one side I sleep like that even when he’s gone. But, it’s the IDEA that I have the entire bed to myself where if I wanted to wallow around and toss about and flail and spread out by golly gee I could!

One morning I was late with the squirrel feeder seed and the bird seed. I slept in until almost eight—yeah “slept in” means different things at different ages, huhn—so, this bird kept screeching outside my window, “GET UP! GET UP! GET YOUR LAZY ARSE UP!” I stumbled to turn on the coffee, and in my robe and slippers, went out to feed the critters. There was a little red squirrel sitting on top of the sunflower seed can, eyeing me pitifully as if to say, “YOU LAZY ARSE! FEED ME FEED ME!” He jumped to the side when I opened the can, and then proceeded to hang on the edge, looking down into the can in a, “Hurry it up, woman,” I said, “Well, geez, give me a chance . . .” Then he followed me across the railing as I deposited King Squirrel’s breakfast upon its throne. Geez. It looked at me as if to say, “GMR would NEVER sleep in. He delivers our victuals promptly.”

GMR says I never miss him while he’s gone. That’s not true, but it sort of kind of is true (oh oh, he’s going to read this and get that look!). I love GMR, but I am a creature who must have her Space. I must have alone time. I require being Very Very Much Completely Alone, and I do not have that often because GMR is always here (that look again). So, when he goes to Louisiana, I kinda sorta don’t miss him but instead revel in my complete aloneness—unless I have a nightmare, then I am lying in the dark going, “Wish GMR were here. Dang. Sure is dark. Dang. That nightmare skeered the beejeezuz out of me. Dang.” But when morning shines, I’m all, “Aw, who needs GMR? I got this.”

Right now, I’m feeling like that squirrel. GMR is going to The Grocery to make groceries (sometimes pronounced “Grot’tries”) and I am sitting on the edge of the feedcan looking down going, “Hurry up! Whoop! Where’s my food? Hurry hurry!” So, I guess he’s okay to have around and all—you know, at night when I have a nightmare, and when I should be eating regular meals that consist of something cooked hot and steamy on the stove. I suppose it’s okay to have someone to go, “Did you see that? Omg! Hahahaha! That was funny!” or “Did you hear that? I can’t believe he/she said that! Omg!”  or "Hey, I'm hungry."

I guess this old marriage thing has its purposes.

(photos by Kat, friend, or purchased from istock)


Jill of All Trades said...

I really liked this post.

Well, when I'm left to the food thing by myself, I tend to eat and eat a lot, obviously. LOL! Yes, it is the little things they do. Like you The Hubby does his own laundry and ironing. That is awesome!!!!! I don't even like to do my own laundry much less anyone elses. As my mother used to say, "you're about as handy as a pocket on a shirt."

KarenG said...

I tend to eat sporadically when left to myself too, but gear towards sugar more than the yogurt and fruit. Brownies are my meal of choice, not good!

Carol@The Writers Porch said...

Lawd.....we are spirit sisters Kat!

I could have written most of this, except for the laundry part, I do it ALL! If Eric goes on a fishing trip, he goes to the grocery and stocks me up so I don't have "get out"! I hate getting out! HA! XO Sis

Kathleen Boston McCune said...

Loved this post 'cause I felt that maybe it's OK to like being alone sometimes...I too eat better when Tom's home and I do miss sharing Special Stuff with him, but the alone time is Special too. However, the older he gets (he's eleven yrs older than me) the more scared I get about not having him when I want him here. He too does his own laundry (and mine if I ask) and vacuums and fills up the cars and 'makes groceries' in BR 8 yrs got me to thinking that phrase too..but my brain just cleans out when I am totally alone every now and again.

Angie Ledbetter said...

stoopid blogger ate my comment!

Can relate. PP1's been gone just since early yesterday a.m. I've eaten two bags of sunflower seeds, 28 cups of coffee, half a Heath Bar, a piece of cheese toast, and a honey crisp apple delivered by GMR. AND I spraddled all over the bed. Just because I could. LOL xxo

Caroline said...

I relate; My Chris does not feed me, but he does keep me hydrated and. I need Alone Time, too, but recently I've had enough of that. I'm reveling in adequate hydration, and this sensible man who reminds me to drink it!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Kat .. love the post and your thoughts .. hubby deserves a big pat on the back for looking after you I guess! Sounds like marriage is a good mix here!! Cheers Hilary

Carolyn V said...

Aw! I love this post. My hubby went away for more than a week and when he got back I thought, "I really do like you so so much." hee hee. =)

Wendy said...

For some reason this post gave me the urge to confess that this morning for "breakfast" I had beef jerky and a slush.

So, if you ever feel bad about anything you eat, just remember this. :)

Toyin O. said...

Yes, marriage does have it s purpose. Even the biggest loner needs someone around sometime; I guess that is why God said it is not good to be alone. Otherwise, you start talking to your TV, dogs, cats, etc:)

Walker said...

If you start eating Chinese food, you'll be eating every hour.
Just saying.

I love my solitude and always seek it out.
I don't see it as being anti social I see it more as, I'm saving your life if i hear you talk about that !@#$%^ thing again.

I am a loner but the funny thing is we never are.
People are always pulled towards us.
Especially the ones that become the most important people in our lives.
They give us the space we need to fee free.

augustmclaughlin said...

Your post inspired me to read Khalil Gabran's poem on marriage.

"Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts."

My parents read "The Prophet" 37 years ago, before they wed. Dad makes Mom's breakfast every morning to this day. I think they both do laundry. ;)

colbymarshall said...

One of my favorite things about my man is the way he does the laundry! It's my least favorite chore, and since we've been together, my hamper has stopped overflowing! haha!

Liza said...

This post made me smile...

Sarah (Nikki) said...

your post made me smile. love how you clean the house the day he leaves and leave it until he returns and even though you have the bed to yourself.. ya sleep scrunched. Too funny. He sounds like a good match....have a great week...