Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Of Pratfalls, Dream-state Driving, and Embarrassing Moments

In states of exhaustion and worry/stress, the oddest things can happen. Like, driving to the hospital and once parked, thinking, “How did I get here? Did I drive? Oh, I must have, since I am in the driver’s seat and my hands are upon the wheel. Oh, lawd.” Which is why you should look at one driver out of, say, fifty, and wonder just how exhausted they are and stressed/worried and if they even know they are driving their car—scary huh?

Other things happen, too. Like pratfalls, except they aren’t funny until after one realizes one isn’t broken and bloody but only bruised. I took one of those while stopping by my dad’s house on a dark evening. Hands full of something or other, I tripped over the one short step and went flying. Now, when one goes flying towards the unknown, it’s crazy the amount of time one has to think things: “Am I going to die?/Am I going to break every bone in my body?/I haven’t seen the latest episode of Modern Family so I can’t go into a coma and good thing I have on my cute undies, just in case, and I should have eaten that Snickers bar because I’ll now be in a coma and somewhere in some dream-state I'll wish I had a Snickers bar . . .” KABLAM! Pavement & Metal Table Contact—slammed knee to pavement/chest to metal table—UNGH! I heard the gasp from my sis-in-law, and as I lay there, I assessed the damage: Not bad. So I laugh, hysterically and belly-full laughing, while saying, “Omg, this huuurrts! Oww, hahahaha, hahaha, OWWW, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OHHHOWWIE! GUFFAW!” Huhn. Later I ate a Snickers bar and savored every bite with my still intact-teeth.

Embarrassing things happen, too. Things that you don’t want to tell ANYONE, but since you are me, you laugh and snort and tell your family, who tells other people because you say, “Did you tell them what happened to me? Hahahhahahahaha!” and those tell others, and then you figure what the heck, so you write it on a blog where great numbers of people will know. Ha. So, I’m in a hurry to go to the hospital and I run into my brother’s bathroom first, toss down my jeans (no delicate way to write this, you know, folks), and as I’m, um, “teetling” I think, “Something doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong!” Oh, something was wrong all right (and I can see GMR’s face as he reads this at home in our cove – as he does when he reads other things he can’t believe I am writing about)—I’d forgotten to pull down my wittle undies. Yup folks. That is exhaustion—when you don’t even remember to pull down your wittle pannies and sit there teetling into them. Okay, now I am laughing, for I find this hilarious—and probably that’s the exhaustion, too—

--for folks, when you are exhausted and stressed, the stupidest things are hilarious, and the littlest moments are tenderest, and the smallest upsets are mountainous, and the tiniest nice thoughts/actions are exceedingly momentous.

Okay, my friends, some good news: Dad is scheduled to have the intubation tube removed today after he wakes and recovers from a little surgical procedure that isn't related to the cause of his intubation but a result of it, so we are all excited. There were times I didn’t think my dad would make it, and I admit that even though I don’t like to admit it—but, we all never gave up hope, and that’s the thing, y’all, good old hope has wings.

I haven’t much had time/energy/mood to think about my books and book sales and etc, but Bellebooks/Bell-Bridge Books has been a dream about this, and has given me a month’s extension if I need it for VK III (the final Grace’s book). And, in some fun news, we have a reader for audio books for The Firefly Dance (and she’s wonderful!), and we have a reader for audio books for Sweetie—I picked her and loved her voice for Melissa. There is a reader for Tender Graces for audio books I really hope can do TG, for she is my Virginia Kate and I really really want her to do it. So soon there should be some audio books out, if you like audio books.

*Blowing A Kiss* to you all. When (I had written "if" - no no WHEN) Dad’s off the ventilator and 24-hour watch goes by fine, then soon I will be wending my way back home and back to my regular schedule of Life and Writing and Posting and Visiting—thank you for your continued support and love and well-wishes and thoughts. *Big Ole Heart Here* MUWAH!


Linda Leschak said...

You are such a hoot! What a story to share with the world.. you and only you would be brave enough to post it here! But I do know how complete exhaustion can take away every bit of logical thinking, how small it can make the large things and large it can make the small things. I admire that you LAUGH through them. I think I might do the opposite.
And such good news about your dad! You have truly been his strength through all of this.

Kathleen Boston McCune said...

Thank you for sharing....I don't feel like I'm the only one who moves in "another world" when caught up in the lives of loved ones. I don't have as much inner security as you to share those "really weird" moments but glad you have the guts to do so....we all feel more human because you do. So very glad to know your Dad is moving past this and know the family is breathing a sigh of relief too. Make sure you get enough sleep to get back to the mountain and GMR in one piece...Love yu.

Jen McFadden said...

You are hilarious! I get the same way when I'm exhausted. :)

Glad your dad is doing better.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Kat - does sound like you are shattered exhausted .. take care and for goodness sake please know you're driving home! Life is hilarious at times isn't it and we do do the most crazy things ..

Lots of happiness with your Dad .. and long may he continue on in his recovery back to decent health.

Cheers - Hilary

Judith Mercado said...

MUWAH back. I'm glad your father is on the mend. Now nurture yourself.

NCmountainwoman said...

I know exactly how you feel. The day we moved my mother-in-law from her home in NC to reside in a nursing home near us in WI, I had gotten up at 3:00 am, helped get her ready, drove two hours to an airport that had direct flights, delivered her to the nursing home. When I got back in the car, I sat there trying to remember the sequence of seat belt, key in ignition, look for traffic,etc.
Fortunately that gave me such a start that I was safe driving home.

As for the other things, my friend gave me a great quote. I'm not certain of its origin but it has helped me on many occasions. "You know you are going to laugh about this in the future. You might as well go ahead and laugh at it now."

Take care of yourself and do something for yourself away from the hospital and the house. You definitely need a breather. A nice relaxing massage might be just the thing.

Carolyn V said...

I'm so glad to hear the news about your dad!!!

And you are awesome. There is no question about it. <3

Anonymous said...

You are a scream - you're not just a card, you are a whole deck! Great news on your dad!

Karen said...

Kat, continued prayers for your Dad. Hilarious Bwuaaahaaa's for you. Oh, what devious partners stress and tiredness are. Glad they are giving you and extention and hearing about all the other good news. (hugs)

Glynis said...

That's what I love about you, Kat. No matter what is happening around you, you still find humour to get you through.

Huge hugs and thrilled about your dad. x

colbymarshall said...

Aw- hope your dad is doing better!