Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday

Every day and/or night I: Eat an apple, drink grapefruit juice or eat a grapefruit, floss and water pick, detest loud commercials, read, drink two cups of black coffee, use moisturizer, daydream, think about my work, my books, and wonder if anyone is reading TG right now, or has it on their nightstand, or after reading it they casually look at it on their bookshelf as they select another book, or see it in the bookstore and pick it up look at it but something stops them from buying it

My youngest brother was a roadie for Pantera; they were friends when Pantera was a garage band. My oldest brother has a band called Trashbags. My slightly younger brother was in a blues band. I was never in a band.

I texted 90999 to Haiti on my cell phone and marvel at how we can do these things now while sitting on our couches.

I can't stand to touch peaches - that furred skin...if there was no one to peel my peaches, I'd never have one.

I've never had a massage because I have touch issues. I hate it when I go have my haircut and they massage my shoulders. I tense so it has the opposite affect/effect.

I miss my son and little Norah Kathryn and now have dreams about her. We all have the same color hair.

I'm not a member of but they insist on sending me emails constantly that I immediately delete.

Gratitude is important and the one thing that often is shoved aside in the blur that can be life, but it is a necessity or else we shrivel.

Right now, this moment, at 9:04 AM I watch my hands on the keyboard, my fingers flying as I type (I type very fast), the blood running through my veins, my heart beating, I am breathing without thinking but now I am thinking about the breathing and it alters that breathing so that I don't want to think about it, I am hungry and my brain and stomach work together to let me know this (what a marvel our bodies are!), my eyes are brown, my hair has a few threads of gray but I don't color it, I am surprised I have a flat stomach at 52, Jake the Black Labrador is staring at me and sometimes he disappears if the light in the house is very low--little Maggie Lou is outside teasing squirrels or it is the other way around, the creek sings loud from all the rain and the snow melt, and right here right now, I am alive and one day I won't be alive and that's the hardest thing for humans to accept or understand or imagine-that Goneness, but no matter, for right this moment, everything about me is Alive....

So, now - go do the day. But first, tell me: what are you feeling Right At This Moment? What are you Aware Of Right Now . . .


Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Hi Kathryn: Well, thanks to your post I have re-connected to my breath - and as you noted, feel it shift due to being observed.

I have been aware that my breath is a little ragged ... that signals fear. We are waiting for the results of a more in depth pathology analysis of my daughter's carcinoid tumour - being done by a doctor and laboratory in Sweden who specialize in this form of cancer. An oblique e-mail from him yesterday left me edgey. I am afraid the tests will show this is the grade of tumour that is more likely to metastasize.

Well, you asked. That's what I am aware of at this moment, that and a sombre mood due to jumping into the future instead of staying in the present.

Thanks for your post - a welcome reminder to return to the here and now.

T. Anne said...

Right now it is raining outside my window. So much gray in my world today, but I don't mind. I actually like to have cozy days in like this once in a while. Too many and I start to lose my mind (it's not a long trip).

Sheila Deeth said...

Time to wake the sun. My world's pretty gray, and knowing Mum's only got a couple more weeks staying with me in the US is pretty gray too.

Anonymous said...

I am just like wow. I'd probably be staring at you like the dog did mesmerized by your flying fingers and the steam coming out of your ears. Fun post. Glad to get to know you better. :O)

Titus said...

Late at night here and same thought that occurs to me every half-hour of my waking life. I need a cup of tea and a cigarette.
Boil, kettle, boil!

Karen said...

Right now, I feel good. Stomach full from supper, make-up washed away, my dog lying next to my feet and the mindless dribble of the tv in the other room in the background. I also feel a bit tired in my shoulders and neck from computer work, but glad I have one and have a job.

I'm 'bout ready for some dessert. I know, but I can't help it. :P

Debbie said...

Right now, I am aware of how sweet you are and how I'd love to spend another day with you. Your son and Norah Katheryn are so precious with you.
I love peaches. Fresh from the tree with just a little wipe off on my shirt sleeve. Sorry:)

Jessica said...

My eyes are burning right now.

I don't like the fuzz on peaches either, but I love to be touched! You're right about the goneness. It's hard to fathom, kind of like thinking about eternity. My mind just can't quite bend around there being no such thing as time.

Lori said...

I am aware that indeed I should be more aware, more often. Thank you for that awareness.

Anita said...

What a thought-provoking post and very sweet too!

I am aware of my hands being nearly sandpapery rough, that my stomache is counting down the minutes to lunch, and that it's a rather blah day today.

Hope you have a good one!

Leslie said...

Wonderful article! I appreciate your honesty and insight about everyday things going on in your life. If you ever want to "safe" massage - my daughter owns a place in Kingsport, TN (Red Clover) and her therapy is woooooondeeerrfulll!

Suldog said...

How interesting. MY WIFE has much the same issue with touch. She's alright with me massaging her, but anyone else makes her stiffen right up. Shame, really. I love massage and would dearly love to share trips to the masseur/masseuse with her, but it's not to be.

As far as what I'm afraid of? My boss has a heart attack this past weekend, so I'm fearful for him, mostly, and also a bit about my job. Looks as though he'll be OK, though, so thanks to God!

Terri Tiffany said...

Great post!! You ought to write a book!:)
Right now I am smelling my oven as it is in the final throes of the cleaning cycle--oh I put it off long enough. And the fan over it is humming me to sleep while the breeze from the open window is blowing the beginnings of a rainstorm coming my way:)

Walker said...

"what are you feeling Right At This Moment"?

.......................I'm not telling you

"What are you Aware Of Right Now"

That if I answer the first question some people might faint HA HA HA!!!!!!!!