Rejection Does Not Mean You Suck...

If you’ve ever watched reality television shows like American Idol, those dance shows, Bravo’s Top Chef, or Next Food Network Star, you will have a glimpse of what it is like to be an editor for a magazine or online journal when hard decisions have to be made on who will be the Winner and who will walk away disappointed.

Let’s take American Idol as an example, and I’ll use the example loosely for my purposes. Multiple of thousands of singers apply and those thousands must be culled down to an amount that can be handled by the show’s judges for our viewing pleasure. Don’t you think out of those thousands a few exceptional singers may slip through the cracks? Of course it will happen. But, the judges have, say, their top fifty. From those fifty, they must cull it down again. Good singers are told no.

The judges now have their twenty top picks. Of the thirty that were rejected, there were some really good singers, but, the twenty have that extra something or had a good day compared to a bad day; still, out of the thirty that were told no, there was dang good talent.

The twenty singers sing their singers off. The judges ponder and argue and disagree and listen to them again. But, at last they must again cull the twenty really great singers down by half to ten. That means ten Great Talented singers are sent home, rejected. That means those judges have to tell these talented people they aren’t going through to Hollywood.

Ten are left. The judges can only pick three from these top singers. This is so difficult, the judges try to find any little thing that separates the ten from each other so they can find that Top Three. They study and ponder and argue. Finally, they just have to make a decision. There’s no way around it. These gorgeously talented ten singers have to be cut down to three. Seven singers have to go home, even though they are some of the best of the best. Out of those seven who go home, there may be a few who really should not have, but the decision is made.

Out of multiple-thousands of singers, three singers stand as The Very Best Singers in the Land. The judges had to find a way to pick out Three—that is the rules, that’s how it goes, that’s how it is done.

The hardest thing of all for those judges to do is to send home singers who have Great Talent. The hardest thing of all is for the judges and the people to pick out One from the Three and declare that One the best of the Best. So, two will go home and one will be named The Best.

The singers who go home from that first Top Fifty group of singers will feel as if they are lacking in talent. The two who are not picked as Top Singer in the Land feel a little better, but not much, because they did not win. They begin to doubt their talents. But this is not the Truth. What is true is the judges can only pick One singer as the One. And the process is a difficult one, one that is subjective, pondered over, argued over, angsted over, tossed and turned over. Sending home Great Talent is the worst feeling in the world. Telling Great Talent NO is the worst feeling in the world—and the judges can only hope those Great Talents try again and never give up their dream.

When Simon Cowell tells someone, “You are good.” He means it, even if that person was not ultimately picked, they should take that “you are good” and fly with it over the moon. Because in the end, only One is chosen, and that one has to have the approval of more than one judge. That one somehow made it to the One by sheer luck and talent and timing and et cetera.

The worst thing in the world is sending rejection letters to Great Writers. It is especially difficult for editors who are also writers, because we know the feeling of it. When we send out our first batch of rejections letters, there are going to be writers who receive them who were in that Top Fifty, Top Thirty, Top Ten, Top Three, but, only “one” can be chosen.

For us, out of the many many many stories we receive in our Rose & Thorn inbox for one reading period, we can only pick nine, and in some instances, ten. Good writers, Great writers are going to find rejections in their inboxes. There’s no way around it. We do try to send encouragement to those who make it to the top of the list, but we also know some will slip through the cracks because we are human and we are busy.

Don’t give up in the face of rejection. You do not know how close you may have come to receiving that acceptance, or if one magazine says No, someone else says Yes. Believe this, especially if you receive an encouraging note from editors. That means you were Noticed. That means your work was angsted and pondered and mulled over by that editor. That said, some publications do not send encouragement – that doesn’t mean your story wasn’t considered, it just means that magazine is too busy or it is just their policy not to send anything but form rejections, or it means you slipped through the cracks because editors are extremely busy.

That’s why you do not give up. Ever. If it’s important to you, you will plunge ahead. For perhaps next time will be your turn.







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