Wednesday, March 25, 2009

And I said to myself: what a wunnerful world, unless it stops spinning or the sky falls or the stars quit burning or the sun hits the moon or....

Osondu's Booksellers is sponsoring a Book Signing Party for TENDER GRACES at the bookstore on April 17th! How exciting. It'll be from 7-9pm and there will be champagne and food. The cut-off is fifty people. She has ordered enough books to accommodate that number. If you are in the Waynesville North Carolina area, call Margaret and reserve your spot! I'd love to see you there.

Now. This is where Kat Magendie begins to fray at the edges and starts blinking into the headlights and her stomach tumbles around like an old-timey ferris wheel gone mad. Because Kat starts worrying, "What if hardly anyone shows up? What if I'm standing in the bookstore trying to pretend it doesn't matter that only a couple of people show and there are all those books sitting there and the food congeals and the champagne un-bubblefies." Then, Kat will have to grab the champagne and upend it and pour it down her throat and glub it down and drown out her sorrows...oh geez.
This is just some of the terror of realizing your dream. But, even saying that makes me hit myself upside my pea-head: one thing I can't stand is whiney writers - not wine-y writers, those are okay - WHINE-Y writers! I mean, all the time I dealt with rejection and another writer realized his/her dream and if he/she whined about it? Well, that just made me mad! SHUT UP, I'd think - you are getting your book published...sheesh!
Okay, Picture It: You write the book; long hours alone and neglecting family and friends. You suffer rejection time after time. Finally, that glorious day comes and you find someone who loves your book and even says, "we are proud to publish this book..." Oh! Oh! The heavens clear, the skies blaze with sunlight and moonlight all at the same time, the birds start singing like on a Disney movie, all is right with the world! And, you live happily ever after, right? All worries gone, right?

Well, not for this old girl. Do NOT get me wrong: this is a wonderful problem to have. These are wonderful problems to have and I am grateful and I recognize this is HOT DANG YAY TIME; because these "problems and anxieties" mean I am realizing my dream of having You hold Tender Graces in your hands - I can't tell you what that means to me (I am trying to tell you, but words won't for a change - you'd have to see the sincerity in my eyes, feel the warmth radiating - the hope you will love Virginia Kate and all the others: Micah, Andy, Miss Darla, Bobby, Rebekha, Mrs. Mendel, Amy and Mr. Husband Campinelle, and even love Katie Ivene and Frederick, and love to hate mean old Aunt Ruby, and despise Uncle Ar-vile. The thought of all those hands holding the weight of my words overcomes me ...truly...the gratitude is realized upon awaking and before sleeping and all in between - know that.)

So, the Dream is arriving, or has arrived, but all those anxieties slip in under the skin and slide around anyway, because that's what they do, that's their job!
You may remember this one: What if I only sell four books -- well that one was proved wrong! Bellebooks said that pre-orders are coming in DAILY! They are happy and that makes me happy! SO THANK YOU ALL; If I could send individual thanks, I would - believe me. So, I can lay that particular anxiety aside for now -- I've sold more than four books. I won't EVEN start thinking: "Hmmmm, NYT bestseller list? ...hmmmm, what about....." nope not going there.

What if no one comes to my first booksigning party?

What if no one comes to any of my booksignings - and how many should I do? and are booksignings really even done anymore? and where should I have them? and should I do "virtual blog tours?" and etcetera etcetera etcetera

What if I get a bad review?:::What if no one else reviews it?

What if there is a HUGE error in the book I didn't find?

What if the sky should fall? what if the earth should stop turning? what if a big black hole should suck me up and I'm lost forever and my molecules are ripped apart and a gamillion pieces of me rain down on the earth and no one even notices it is a gamillion pieces of me raining down and I soak into the earth and weird flowers come up with my pea-head on them (um, what? okay, Kat, take deeeeep breaths - go do some yoga girl; you're losing it....teeheeheehee).

What I'm trying to say in my weird way is: Dreams coming true are wonderful, but full of their own stresses -- good stresses, "bad" stresses....If you are like me, you begin to attach THINGS to yourself that perhaps you should not. I should instead go back to the original feeling of accomplishment that I'd written a novel, and then that feeling when BelleBooks said, "we want to publish Tender Graces...." and then the wonderful feeling of my friends and family (my blog friends and family included) telling me how happy and proud of me they are: that's the thing right there -- that, and the original feeling of YOU holding my book in your hands and loving the language, the words, the characters....ahhhh, now I feel much much better. Deep Breath: done.
I always want to say "writers are weird" but I realize it's probably just Me that is weird and the writer part is only the excuse I use for my eccentricities....haw!
*MUWAH* .... (now, on to work on The Rose & Thorn newsletter that I've been neglecting and is due to go out soon! It will distract me from my weirdness for a while....haw! Here's where you can sign up for the newsletter. And, I need to do a review for Kerry Madden's Maggie Valley Trilogy. And I want to visit you all again. And what la la la tee dah! I really do love my life! *BIG FAT GRIN*)


Lisa said...

what if everything turns out perfect ?
and it will.
Im a witch and i said so.
Your friend better order in an extra ten books and another crate of Bolli !

Barbara said...

Go, girl, go!!! What a ride!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You will have an overflow crowd. Enjoy the ride. If you find a mistake, only you will know and if someone does not like it, their problem. The trailers sound great and look forward to giving it a go. The same feeling you have is one that I get every year before state race day. The ones that train and perform the best will win. That means you.

jinksy said...

Put your seven league boots on and stride forth bravely!

Nannette Croce said...

Think how it would feel to go from bookstore to bookstore, with your own little handmade posters and piles of books in your trunk, begging for a reading. The book is being published. You got a reading. Expect to sell just one book to the shop owner, and anything after that will be icing on the cake.

Sharla said...

Oh, I wish I was there so I could go. I'll be there in spirit giving you good karmic juju. I'd be a wreck too, but still it's such a cool thing to be a wreck about! :)

Kasie West said...

You are not weird. I haven't even gotten past the first step (ok, well, actually, the first step is writing a book, so I've gotten past that step) which is finding an agent and I'm already worried that no one will show up at my book signing party. LOL How exciting though for you. It's a great worry to have. Revel in it!

Michelle said...

Giggle :)

Deb Shucka said...

I hope to remember this post and the last one when I arrive at this point of the path. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing it in a way that makes me chuckle right along with you.

I look forward to reading about what a grand success that book signing was. Wish I could be there.

Debbie said...

People will come! I would if I could - you know that. And, just drink that champagne and be happy.
Now, I would also imagine you'll get plenty of reviews and someone, somewhere won't like it. There's a fool in every crowd. Just remember that:)

Sandra Leigh said...

That was an interesting (and funny) list of What ifs - but I have another one for you.

What if, five years from now, a new author comes on the scene? Her book is published to rave reviews. On its cover, you read the words "Not since Kat Magendie's Tender Graces has a debut novel so captured the hearts of readers everywhere."

Won't that be fun?

kimmi said...

((Kat)) Hahaha, you are mirroring my thoughts! I don't even have to post my pre-jitter stresses for Unbreakable, cuz I can come over here and see all mine listed!!

It'll be great!!! And, wow, champagne, whoa I'm impressed. I'm bringing my own water bottle to mine!! : D Deep breaths, sweetie, loooong deep breaths! You're gonna BE GREAT!!

Barry said...

I was going to say what Lisa said, but she said it first and she's a witch and can say it with more authority.

But it will be a shame if you believe her because then you won't be so nervous and your anxiety is very entertaining!!


smiles4u said...

It is my guess that all writers feel this way. Stress comes with good and happy things too and as much as we try to avoid it, it's there. I appreciate your openness and honesty about this whole process. I just know it's all going to go great.

DebraLSchubert said...

Like they say, "Be careful what you wish for!" I wish for you, my crazy friend Kat, to be blessed with calm, gratitude, and the deep-down belief that you are perfect just the way you are. Good health and healthy relationships are all that matters. Everything else is just delicious chocolate frosting on the cake!

colbymarshall said...

You go girl! congrats on it all happening for you!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Kat! May I extend a formal congratulations to you! Everything will go wonderfully and you enjoy your excitement, terror, and joy; it's a blessed mix, and I'm happy for you.

Teresa Frohock