My SIMILE post is like a red red rose, or not . . .

Yesterday I gave examples of Dangling Participles. There are many ways to craft stronger manuscripts, but what I hope you take away from the post below is how to think about the scene you are writing in a tangible way: SEE the scene—and learn to “see the scene” without having to stop and to picture it every time, but instead by practicing your craft, paying attention to your work in edits (not in the initial writing of your draft!) so that strong writing happens much more naturally or instinctively.

We want our sentences to read better so they are not awkward (as those sentences in the post below are awkward, or maybe my blog post I'm writing quickly is awkward -laugh-)- Do we want perfection? YES! Okay, sort of kidding, but perfection is stress-inducing and impossible to achieve. Relax and have fun with your first draft(s), then be mean and beady-eyed with your edits. We can create works that read lyrically, or beautifully, or "flow" smoothly, by paying attention to detail while in the editing stage of our manuscripts. We can weed out many of those Sneaky things we tend to do repeatedly.

Knowing the names of grammar/syntax isn’t as important to me as knowing how to create a manuscript that is stronger and tighter, and lyrical. More important to consider when deadlines loom. I had much more time to write what became Tender Graces than I will have to write Secret Graces (the working title of VK2), so the more I know instinctively—the more I am aware of the editing side of my writing—the better off I'll be when I'm rushing to meet my deadline: when I have a mere few months(!) to write a novel versus all the time I want.

Paying attention, reading, editing, practicing my craft, show me what kinds of things I tend to over-do or should not do or just flat don't want to do even if it is considered acceptable--we all must find our writing style and voice and blah didity do dah day.

Today is: Simile.

One word I do a search for in my manuscript is “Like,” since like or as is used most often in Simile. I want to make sure I do not have a bunch of like this and like that, Similes, all over creation. Some samples of Similes are:

Her lips are red like a new rose

His leg was like a tree stump

My eyes bugged out like a frog

I hollered at her like a banshee.

The road was as curving as a snake’s journey

The cloud was puffy as a cotton ball

(Please don’t use those sentences above in your writing – they are awful and full of cliché *eyewww*- I am just throwing out quick examples. . . )

I have been guilty of using too much simile and so I eagle eye my manuscript to see if there is another method to get my point across. Look for those “like/as” phases in your work. Do you have a crud-load of simile? Is there another way to structure what you want to say? Similes can be beautiful and fun and effective, but too many of them and they begin to blare out as if you’d taken a highlighter pen and marked up your manuscript.

Note also, as I showed you in the examples above, the danger of simile is that they can easily slip into the dreaded cliche....be careful of that! Note that Simile and Metaphor, while lumped together, are not exactly the same thing, but I won’t go into all that…as I say: a Google or Bing or whatever search you do will give you the information you need.

I don’t think there is much more to say about similes right now.

UPDATE on MAGGIE LOU: she has completed one round of medicine and is almost finished the other. Her personality is really coming through and she’s feeling so much better. I am glad we found Maggie and she found us.

If you haven’t been by Teresa’s place yet where I guest blogged with a few words on submitting to a zine, I hope you’ll stop by. Questions are encouraged and I’ll be around to answer them. Namaste!

google images from: walkinthewords.blogspot.com

http://www.uleth.ca/edu/currlab/handouts/simile.jpg

Danged ole Dang Dangling Participles . . .

First, I am so over my using a twist on song lyrics for my titles. huhn.

Second, I hope you will stop by helluo librorum; where I guest blogged about A few words on submitting your work to a zine . . . (post below).

I'm not going to try to explain "grammar stuff" in the usual way, I hope; because it seems to me it is either one of those things you "get" or one of those things that makes you want to pull out your hair and run screaming into the streets. I was of the latter, until one day for some reason I can't fathom, things began to make sense, and I think the reason they began to make sense is because I related them to my writing in a tangible way by imagining my scenes (or some other relatable way). What I'm going to try to do is to explain things in a way that maybe you will better understand . . . I hope. And today is Dangling Participles.

We know what Dangling means; that's easy. But what in tarnation is a Participle? A Participle is a verbal that . . . hold up Kat, - a what?, a verbal? *eyes glazing over* Okay, let's do it this way. A participle usually ends in ED or ING. Present Participles end in ING, and Past Participles in ED and uh, well, etceterea. . . if your eyes are glazing again, just remember words ending in ED and ING - who cares what they are called, right? We just want to get our scenes down smart and tight. I want to talk about the ING words today.

When I finish a first draft of my novel, I do a "find" or "search" for words ending in ING . . . why? because they can be sneaky! First, many times I find that instead of using ING, I really should be using ED. And second, because I want to catch any sneaky Dangling Participles. The more I practice my craft and understand my "scenes" the fewer times I make these mistakes (but I still make mistakes, which is why editing is so very important to our work-we must learn to read critically, and even then, it's hard to catch them all -perfection is a bitchly bitch!).

I could explain things in a "Grammarish" kind of way about modifiers and nouns and who or what is carrying out the action and blah blah blah, but I want to get you to see the results and not necessarily the grammar whys. In the case of the Dangling Participle, I am not so much worried about you remembering the Term, but instead remembering that ING word to look out for - by imagining the scene you are writing.

Here is an example:

Drinking her coffee, Linda told Barry to stop drumming his fingers on the table.

Now, imagine that scene above. Linda is drinking her coffee, so how can she talk to Barry? Sure, we all know what the sentence means; but, if you picture that scene as written, it does not work very well. Linda can’t talk and drink her coffee at the same time. Something isn’t jiving here. Two things going on: Linda is drinking her coffee. Linds is telling Barry to stop drumming his fingers. It's not that you have to make two sentences out of this, but it calls for some restructure to make the two actions two actions and not one....you see?

Putting on his pants, Tim rushed to eat his breakfast.

So, yes, maybe this is not so bad, right? Maybe Tim is putting on his pants in a hurry so he could hurry up and eat his breakfast. It is still an awkward "scene." He puts on his pants, and then he rushes to eat his breakfast - there are two things going on here, not just one. Again, no one is going to flaggelate you for this, or call you a hack writer. But, still, if you can write cleaner sentences, why not?

Running to her car, Debbie started it and drove away.

I'm still imagining her running to the car - now I have to adjust my thinking because suddenly she's in the car and driving away. This sentence and scene is awkward.


Not to confuse you, but sometimes those ING words could work as beginning phrases:

Standing in the doorway, Glynis was almost knocked over by a large angry man.

Do you see the difference? Gylnis is standing in the doorway and some big guy almost knocks her down - it's one action by Glynis. However, I still don't like this sentence - it's still not so hot, but better.

I'm being simplistic here, and my examples aren't meant to be perfect, but instead I'm hoping you can picture the scene and in picturing the scene understand what I am attempting to tell you.

Typing her examples, Kathryn hoped everyone would understand. - That'll do. I'm typing my examples while hoping you all understand. Not the most perfect sentence, but still . . . I can type my examples, and I can hope you all will understand.

Typing her examples, Kathryn ate her biscuit. - no, I'm typing so it would be hard to eat my biscuit! Two actions going on.

There is also:

Flying to the flower, the woman watched the bird.

So, who is flying? The woman or the bird?

There are grammatical explanations you can find by googling "dangling participles" and "participles;" those explanations and examples will give you clear instruction. But if you can relate the "lessons" to your own writing and your own scene setting, well, do you see what I'm getting at? Unless you can relate something to your own experience, it's difficult to understand.

Please, Grammatarianians, don't bust my chops here - I'm not trying to give a "Grammar Lesson" so much as hoping writers will imagine their scenes and see how sentence structure can be tricky. My examples aren't meant to be perfect little explanations of what a Dangling Participle is, but instead get you to thinking about your scenes in another way, and in the process, maybe have an understanding of sentence structure and how it can make your work weaker or stronger.

Now . . . who all is more confused than ever *laughing!* and who is maybe saying, "Wait, I see! I've been doing this . . ."

Google images from:
http://davidbuckenglish.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/grammar_crackers_large.093807.gif
http://www.momdot.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/grammar.jpg

Hello? helloooooo? Where am I? . . . I'm right over there!

Gosh, yesterday when I said I would be back "tomorrow" with a post about dangling participles (I love that 'dangling participles,' teehee)...I meant tomorrow as in Tuesday, not Monday...and when I said I would be blog walking yesterday, I missed a few blogs, so will be around this evening. (Update on Maggie! - she is getting healthier every day...what a joy she is; we just love her.)

For, today I am over at helluo librorum, Teresa's blog about writers, writing, and all things written. It is a small community of writers communicating through our various blogs for support and information about the publishing industry.

I am there talking about A few words on submitting your work to a zine . . . and here is a 'teaser' . . .

So, you’ve written your story and are ready to find a place for it. Where to begin when there are a gazillion places to submit to? Your brain fizzles and pops, then shuts down. You take your beautiful story and file it under, “I have no idea where to submit this piece and who wants it anyway? I’m sadder than sad, bluer than blue. I think I’ll go eat worms.”

I’ve been there, my friend. I wish I had a magic answer for you, one that would make all your literary dreams come true. If I knew this, I’d bottle it and sell it for nineteen ninety-five (But wait! There’s more! Buy one All Your Literary Dreams Come True and receive another one free!).. . . for the rest of the article, visit helluo librorum

These blogs are made for walking, and that's just what I'll do....

Hello friends. Tomorrow I want to post more about "writing craft" (dangling participles for one). But this is Sunday and on Sunday's I like to Blog Walk. But I have to mention:

I received a very nice Kreative Blogger award from Ranch Girl Ramblings and, a few weeks ago, from Cathy, a Humane award. I have been very bad about following the "rules" when I receive an award, but it in no way lessens the joy and appreciation I feel at receiving the awards . . . thank you!

I also want to say thank fellow bloggers David Pereda (author of a book I can’t wait to buy at his signing at Osondu’s next month: Havana Top Secrets) – and Small Footprints (who’s green living tips are important and inspiring)- for supporting me at Malaprops last night. Both have kind and open expressions that match their personalities (she is lovely with a perfect "peaches and cream" complexion I envied, and he is handsome and distinquished); I am glad to know them now “in person.” It is such a delight for me to meet bloggers in person. Katsoup drove hours from her home to my Osondu author's reception and I am still amazed and grateful (she is a beautiful person with life bubbling out of her pores). I met Carol at the Writer's porch recently (and her photos do not do her justice - she's lovely and classy and full of fun-etic energy), and Debbie of Suburb Sanity (Not only is she a pretty woman, she is as intelligent and interesting as her posts are). In the past I've met other bloggers for whom I've enjoyed coming to know. We can't all meet in person, but it sure is fun when we do.

I want you all to know my appreciation is honest and true. I print out your reviews, comments, emails, and put them in my keepsake book. Thank you. My life has become busy and scattered, so if I forget something or someone, or I miss an email from you, please know that it isn't for lack of trying or respect.

I will do some blog walking, and then work on VK2, and then! Today is Roger’s birthday, so I am going to prepare homemade pizza tonight!

Below is Happy Birthday Roger! in WingDings font *laughing:

Happy Birthday Roger!

I am, I write, to no one there, and no one heard, not even the chair...until...

I was going to blog about adverbs, dangling participles, etc, (and I will come back to that) but today I want to address what someone wrote in the comments below: “You know all that is what kind of halts me in writing. It just overwhelms me and then I block. I like blogging because I have the feel of freely writing. I guess it is a bit of a quirk.”


Never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never NEVER NEVER NEVER let anything stop you from writing if this is what you want to do and you are ready to discipline yourself to it—no one else on this earth or beyond should stand in your way: no advice from well-meaning writers, no rules, no nuttin’.

I had to get to a certain point in my writing before the advice made sense –Hear that: I had to know how to sit down and write and find out what kind of writer I’d be before all the “rules” began to make sense, and only then could I use them, manipulate them, have fun with them—and I’m still having fun. Until I was at that point, I practiced and I took in a little at a time until it made sense to me.

Trust me when I say that if you really want to write a novel, or stories, then you must practice your craft and the only way to practice is to just sit down and write. As you practice, you will figure out what works for you, what your “voice” is, what your “tics” are, what your weaknesses and strengths are, what delights you and urges you on and what frustrates you and makes you want to stop writing. You will find out your own personal style of writing in both how you write and what you write.


But listen! If you are happy writing blog posts, what is wrong with that? If you write a successful blog and people come to your site and leave happy interested comments, are you not a success? Are you not writing for an audience who loves coming by and seeing what you have written?

When I began writing my first novel, what would become Tender Graces, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing; I didn’t even know how to write dialogue! But I had desire. I had discipline. I had want. I just wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and things began to come clear as to my own style and voice and what made me feel comfortable. I wrote 200,000 words and most of those had to be trashed or re-casted or fiddle-dee-deed, but, boy did I have fun, and boy did I learn much about what kind of writer I’d be. I was writing for an audience of one: Me. That is free-ing, let me tell you!

Don’t let the “rules” or advice of others stop you or scare you or make you feel as if you are somehow lacking if you don’t write in a certain way—just write and in the writing find out who you are, what kind of writer you are, what you love to write, and how you will write. I can’t stress this enough. Find what makes you happy and do it.

If the writing feels strained and you want to back away from it, then find out what is hindering you: Are you writing for someone else? Are you listening to too many writers (like me!) give advice and it confuses you? Are you straining towards something that isn’t meant for you?


Stop. Sit in your chair. Open a word doc (or pull out pen and paper) and Begin. Just have some fun, see what comes out. Who cares of you have so just very little; who cares if there are many adverbs and present participles and dangling participles and similes and blah blah blah blah—how will you know what you want until you sit down and begin? How will you know what makes you happy until you write it without restraint?

You all would laugh your arses off if you could see some of my first attempts at writing stories. So what? I laugh too! Haw! But I also see how far I’ve come, how much I’ve learned and how much more I can learn.

Sit. Breathe. Tune out the voices. Have fun. And, write how and what you want, and where and for whom you want. Be sincere.

Dig it out from the you that is uniquely you. No one is like you.

(I missed Friday Shoot outs! I hope to get to that later....and Update on Maggie Lou--she is doing so much better; this second medicine, and some special diet dog food she'll be on for 3 days, has made the entire difference! Yayyyy!)

PS: I will be at Malaprops Bookstore & Cafe tonight at 7PM, Asheville NC, for a Tender Graces reading signing-hope to see you if you are in the area!

google images: http://poetryfoundation.org/harriet/Writers%20Block.jpg

http://memphismafia.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/writers-block.jpg

http://unlockingbrett.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/writers-block.jpg

We just keep playing those words games together......

When I tell you I am scurrying around; I am scurrying around! I’m writing this post with the speed of light, so please pardon any errors or “unnecessary filler words” – I tend to write my blog posts fast and furious without editing them, but when writing about grammar or syntax, and all those etceteras, it would behoove me to write them well—you’d THINK! *laughing* - but instead, I hope you will read for the idea behind my words and not any errors I’ll make. Oh wait, no, that’s not it, there won’t be errors—there will be Lessons! That’s it! Yes, to see if you are paying attention (teehee).

I didn’t want to take my laptop to Vegas, so I printed out the first rough draft of Virginia Kate Saga Book2. I read through it and made notes – and part of that process of making notes was noticing words I used over and over that were unnecessary (that sentence is a mouthful and sure could be written tighter – I should fix that –I really should . . . la tee dah).

Filler words. Tic words. We all use them; although, the more you practice your craft and Recognize what you are saying and how you are writing your prose, the more you will be aware of these filler or unnecessary or tic words. Yet, they do creep in when we are writing as we speak (or as the character speaks?), especially when “free-writing” or writing that first draft, or writing in a casual loose way as we do in blog posts, or letters/emails, etcetera.

Some “tic” words are: little, just, that, so, then, very, really. It doesn’t mean you never use these words, it means to make sure you aren’t peppering your manuscript with unnecessary words that, well, aren’t necessary. Do a search for “so” or “just” or “very” and see how many come up.

I did a search for “felt” and was amazed at how many times Virginia Kate said she felt something instead of showing it. Sure, sometimes “felt” fits, but in more than half the incidences I used “felt” I was able to delete it and sometimes several words along with it and create a stronger image.


I read something a few weeks ago, and it was peppered with “suddenly” – Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm; suddenly, the wind came; suddenly, she ran to meet her friend, suddenly, the car rounded the corner. Look at your manuscript—do you really need that “suddenly” when the action and/or dialogue itself can show immediacy? (Later in another post I want to talk about ING and LY words.)

We all hear/say “started to;” I wrote “started to” up until months ago when it “started to” blare out at me—as in: I started to run. I started to eat. I started to drive my car. Look for “started to” in your manuscript –can it be changed to a more direct action? I took out “started to” from my manuscripts (unless one or two sneaked in there unnoticed). It’s just one of those phrases that “started to” bother me and I can't tell you why. Use it if you want, but use it sparingly.

What about those similes? “Her hair was like an old frayed rope . . .” that’s a simile – when you use “like a” or “as a.” When I go through my manuscript, I watch for overuse of simile and metaphor—and I tend to like to use those things quite a bit. But I’m tougher on similes – those “like a . . .”phrases.

Read your manuscript with a critical eye and tighten it, tighten it. Sure, we’ll always have “extra filler words” or use too many similes or use passive phrasing instead of direct action or could write in a better way (look at this blog post for gawds sake!); after all, who is Perfect? And if we spend all of our time creating Perfection in our manuscripts, we’ll never be able to say, “I’m done . . . ” However, the more you know, the more power you have with your words and language to make images, your work, come alive--to carry your audience along on a ride. You want to hear, "I couldn't put down your book..." You don't want your reader snagging on snaggibles. Know the rules so you can break them. Be aware of “tic” words so you can eliminate them. Practice your craft. Read your ms with a critical eye, once you get that first draft down.

This post is teeming with ways to tighten my prose and get rid of unnecessary words and write in a more direct way and yada yada blah blah and blah! But, I’m sure you all will forgive me as I fly by – whoooooshhhhh!

What are your “tic” words or phrases? Or, what are your "pet peeves" when reading someone's work?

*theme music to flight of the bubble bee*

I am so late posting today - little Maggie Lou was sick last night - I ended up sleeping on the couch so I could rub her tummy - yeah, some people may think "What? rubbing a dog's tummy-sheesh!" but it made her, and me, feel better. Can't stand to see anyone sick and my maternal instinct goes in overdrive.

Another trip to the vets. Some medicine. She's eating and drinking normally and playing and took a long walk....so, Yayy~! More on this later....I had a hmmm moment......

What I planned to write about today is words we use in our manuscripts/stories that are "filler" words or "tic" words - those words you aren't even aware you are writing -- especially in those first drafts. But, when you do a "find/search" through word doc, you see just how much you over-use these "tic" words -or whatever you want to call them. more on that later . . .

So, later I'll write what I intended....

Before I go - in posts below we talked about how the "media" have been talking about "this new trend" of mothers giving up their children to pursue their dreams or whatever they're doing - and we talked about "do men get a pass...." (and for those of us who were given up by our mothers long ago, it doesn't feel like a "new trend" to us!).....now I'm hearing on the news the "new trend" of more and more women driving drunk. Do you think either of these are "new trends" or just getting more press because of a particular incident or incidents that made national news? Do you think women have always had alcohol problems, but either hide it better, or some how "got away with it" in some way, or ??? Do you feel women have "gotten a pass" in the alcohol department, in the way maybe men have "gotten a pass" for abandoning their kids to start a new life? Are there double standards?

Gee, I feel as if the "themes" in VK are coming to life lately -- mothers giving up children, drunk mothers....

(PS - I am really enjoying your responses below to "where is your sanctuary" or "where would you go if it were your last day on earth...thank you!)

Later gators - I'll soon return!

google images from http://www.myhealthsense.com/images/gallagher_060626.jpg

http://realwomenscrap.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/14/busy_woman2.jpg