We have Comp'ny --

Hello and Happy Monday! GMR and I have "houseguests" and I am in the midst of going through line edits for "Petey" - what or who is a "Petey?" you may ask, or you may not *laugh* - but Petey is the novella I had to write and re-write and edit to completion in 30 days, for Bellebooks. From what I understand, it will be published along with another author's novella-length work. Don't know all the details yet, but when I do, I'll pass them on.

Meanwhile, I sent Sweetie on to BB so the line edits can be done. I just realized, Sweetie/Petey - sounds so much alike - I must like "etie" sounds *laugh*

GMR's son, daughter in law, and grandson are here. Nick is precious. These photos are not his photos, but I don't want to upload photos of Nick without asking them first. So, I leave you with photos of little Boop, Norah Kathryn . . .

And, I'll see you all again soon. I'll also be working on the next issue of the Rose & Thorn Journal . . . it goes live July 15, so hope you'll come see us then. The announcement newsletter goes out as well, and if you've not signed up, I hope you will. Our writers, artist, and poets would love to hear from you - go by and take a look at the spring issue before it goes into archives.

Have a wonderful day - will see y'all later!

In the Car: Scene from a Marriage

Me: OMG! Watch out! You’ll hit that squirrel!


GMR: It’ll move out of the way.


Me: but what if it doesn’t? You didn’t even slow down! What if it isn’t paying attention and you run it over . . .


GMR: It didn’t; look, it’s running off.


Me: But you COULD have run over it is what I’m saying. You didn’t even slow down is what I’m saying. It could have happened because you don’t slow down but instead just barrell on ahead, oblivious to things in your way.


GMR: *his inside head: - but it didn’t happen, so there!* His outside mouth saying: *sigghhhhhh*


Later:

Me: OMG! You hit that bird. Omg omg! Poor little bird! You didn’t slow down and see see seeeee! You hit it! I TOLD you this would happen.


GMR: I hit it? Did I? Are you sure?


Me: Yes! I saw it… oh oh ugh – ohhh, poor little bird. I told you and told you to slow down when you see critters! *unnghhh unngghhh* poor bird. I can't stand it.


GMR: I’m sorry! *said in a not really THAT sorry voice; the bird shouldn't have been that stupid, and in fact it wasn't, for that bird got out of the way, so there*


Me: When we drive back this way, I hope I don’t see that bird with its guts hanging out. Ohhh ughhnnnnn.


Later:

No dead bird is seen.


GMR: *doesn’t say anything on the outside, but on the inside is going nya nya nya – no bird with guts hanging out – so it flew off nya nya*


Me: I bet it dragged its little self off in the grass somewhere. I bet it’s cheeping out its last breaths out of its bloody beak as I speak. Ugnnggghhh. Poor little bird. I told you to slow down!


GMR: sighhhhhhh.



Later:

Me: Why do you always back into the parking spaces?


GMR: because it’s faster when I pull out.


Me: But, it takes longer to back in, so doesn’t that make it a wash? I mean, if you spend extra time backing in, it nullifies the pulling out quickly, doesn’t it?


GMR: Sighhhhhhhhhhh. Okay, I won't back in next time.

Me: No, don't just agree with me. I'm asking because I am curious. What I'm saying is: I'm asking you: Is it really faster? I'm curious. If you back in to get out faster, is it really faster in the Long Run . . . you know, if the time is added up ToGether. Not just pulling out, but the action of backing in AND the action of pulling out added together. Is that faster or is that a wash, thereby nullifying your theory of it being faster?

GMR: Huhn?




Later:

Me: OMG! You almost killed us! You need to pay attention! That truck is three times our size! SPLAT KABLAM, we could be dead right now! I haven't finished the edits on my novel - I'll be dead and with an unfinished work - oh no! Unngghhhhh. I wonder if my friends or family will know to look in my hard drive . . . If we'd burst into flames, that saves my cremation cost, right? Oh, but maybe not... OH! I don't want to think about that! Gross! Stop my brain from thinking about it! This is what happens when you almost get hit by a big truck thrice your size! Be careful, okay? That's all I'm saying, just be careful. We could be dead Right Now!


GMR: But I didn’t kill us. Um . . .

Me: But you COULD have!


GMR: sighhhhhh.


Later:

GMR: #*#*$& MOVE!!! #*#@*$#! *races up to the bumper of other car, angrily flicks his blinker, careens around it, then as he passes, he gives them the look, aggressively unflicks his blinker, and then races in front of them to haul ass away with a “that’ll show em attitude"*


Me: OMG! Are we running a race? I mean really? Are we? Running a race? this is a small town; we don't have to go ninety to nothing down Highway 19, okay?


GMR: They were (out of towners from a certain state that NCers have a rivalry with) and they pulled right out in front of me and then go slow and it drives me crazy! I hate that—they could have more courtesy; they don’t own the roads here! – actually GMR doesn’t SAY all this aloud, actually, he just gets THAT LOOK and says, "O'KAY, All RIGHT..." *sighhhhhhhhhhh*


Me: Still. Huhn.


Later:

Me: OMG! Do you have to race up then slow down, race up then slow down, race up then slow down? Drives me insane!


GMR: I’m not doing that.


Me: Yes you are, too! Stop it . . . drives me in-SANE.


GMR: okay okay *inside voice says I am SO not doing that* sighhhh.


Me: Well, I dreamed we got into an accident so you have to be more careful.


GMR: *inside voice: not those dreams again . . . * outside voice, “Okay.”


Me: You SAY okay, but are you really listening?


GMR: I’m listening. I said okay.


Me: But I mean LISTENING. Not just hearing words come out my mouth and hearing those words, but actually HEARING them and then PROCESSING them so that you UNDERSTAND them!


GMR: uh huh


Me: Sigghhhhhhh.

Discipline . . .

Get into the car, drive down into Waynesville, go inside, up the stairs, and to the treadmill—each action, separate yet one, propels me to the start of my goal. The goal being: to jog/run five miles. I know once I’m on the treadmill, I still have to reach a certain point before I know I’ll make it. Two and a half to three miles into it, I’m pretty set, in the zone so to speak, and will continue on to that five mile mark, sometimes with the feeling I could keep going (and I probably will when time allows).


Even as short a time ago as April of this year, I never thought I’d run five minutes (seriously), much less five miles. Used to be, only walking on the treadmill for a little while drove me up the wall. B O R I N G. I wanted to be doing something else. And to run or jog? Bleah!


But, I made up my mind I wanted to start running. I wanted to see what I could do if I just disciplined myself to it. So, I jumped on the treadmill and hit “quick start” and then began. I first ran as long as I was able without letting myself think on goals of how long or how fast. I just jogged along until I thought I’d had enough, and without berating myself at all (no berating!), I’d step off. Then the next time, I went at least as long as that, or maybe a little longer. Once I felt comfortable with the action, I began to set small goals, and built on them.


In my getting on the treadmill and keeping my eyes forward and my feet moving, it wasn’t long before five miles “just happened.” I added some music, and that helped the time move forward, for I had something to focus on besides my breathing and the sounds of my feet. I also found the pace at which I can go where reaching that five miles is attainable.


All of this takes Discipline. Without discipline, I’d never have reached, or even known I could reach, those five miles and the promise of going more if I choose.


Do I sometimes get a little restless? Yes. Do I sometimes have back pain? Yes. Do I sometimes want to Not Go and do something else. Yes. But I do it anyway. Some days/nights my back complains loudly, but I ignore it because this is something I want to do—the running. Some days I think I won’t make the five miles, so I tell myself to just get on and see what happens, and then I keep going past that point where I’m almost ready to give up.


Discipline. It’s the same concept with writing. Sit in your chair, open the word document, put your fingers on the keys, begin, and then when you think you want to stop, keep going, find that second wind, and every so often, push yourself just a little more. Perhaps you’ll surprise yourself with how far you can go. Perhaps you’ll lose yourself in the words and language and before you know it, you’ve written more words than you’ve ever written.


Without discipline, it’s difficult to be a writer. Even with deadlines, so much of what we do is self-motivated, and beyond that, we are never certain of a final outcome. If we do not jump onto that treadmill and put one foot in front of the other, over and over and over, then the work will not be done. Without discipline, the work is not done. Simple as that.


Are you ready to discipline yourself?

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PS - My youngest brother Tommy (some of you have "met" him here before - and he's the one who is in the shadow pictures below) is in the hospital - keep your thoughts positive for him, will you? We think it's something minor, but anytime someone has to go to hospital . . .

Are You Listening? Scene from a marriage

GMR: “Mbekr ls jasr seu sejiej;sd sljfrojeue rfjsjre jrjr?”


Me: silence


GMR: “Se l alr jelrj ase msksjf;sjf sleij ajfsejp sflsejsem.”


Me: “Uh huh.”


GMR: “Slei slje kare lseusie etc etc etc.”


Me: “Hmmmm . . .”


Later:


GMR: “What time do you want to go?” (or: "Are you almost ready?")


Me: “Huhn?”


GMR: “What time do you want to go?”


Me: “Go where?”


GMR: Looks at me with that look


Me: Looks at him with that look then asks, “What’re you talking about? I don’t know about that.”


GMR: “I just told you the other day (or ten minutes ago).”


Me: “Huhn? What the other day(or ten min ago)? You didn't, either. I'd have remembered that.”


GMR: *sighhhhhhhhhhhh*

Me: "When? When did you tell me!"

GMR: "I told you e8rk eakrs uarhees . . ." *electrified hum in air . . . other voices chime in . . . Me loses clarity for a moment as Me is trying to think when he said it and where and how . . . *

Me: “Huhn? Oh, um . . . ha ha . . . I wasn't list--um . . ., er . . . um . . . ha ha . . .well . . . huhn . . . what did you say? ”

GMR: Big arse Siggghhhhh but it's an INSIDE sigh since he doesn't want to show he's sighing but Me knows he's sighing . . . can FEEL his inside sigh

Me: "I'll be ready in twenty minutes."


Folks. If you live with someone who works from home. If you life with someone who you know is concentrating so hard on what they are doing that they probably aren’t paying attention to what you are saying even though they are pretending to pay attention to what you are saying, they probably aren’t. Clues that they are NOT paying attention to what you are saying: “Silence. Uh huh. Hmmmmmmm.” Clues they ARE paying attention: “That sounds good. I like so and so. What time do we need to be there?”


I’m pretty sure it’s not only writers who have this scenario in their homes. Am I right? Are you listening? Are are you going “Uh huh . . . hmmmmmm. . .” Sighhhhhhh.

So . . . how goes it in YOUR house . . . ?

(shadow photo taken by me at Oregon Beach)

Running round & round & round that circle

I do a lot of listening to (or reading about) writers—both published writers and as yet unpublished writers.


And what I hear is a lot of “what if” and “if only” and “If I could just” and “So and So is doing this and that’s what I want” and “Why can’t I?,” and Et Cetera. I’m not immune to it, but I am growing ever more Aware of it. Circuitous thinking, round and round it goes, endless. Our desires are always a step farther than our needs, just round that curved corner we can’t see from where we are.


Funny thing is, we don’t remember when we were wishing for that something because when we reached that goal, we were already circling to find the next thing, and that for which we wished for prior has already been left behind.


Don’t get me wrong, having goals and wanting success is not a bad thing. What I am talking about is our discontent or dissatisfaction with what is happening right now; you know, that thing we had wanted to achieve so very much, before we actually achieved it.


So, round and round we go, stepping over successes, great and small, along the way. Oops! I just stepped over the goal of starting my project/finishing my project! Oops! I just stepped over my goal of finding an agent/having my work published/getting paid for writing/querying agents-small presses-lit mags/having someone I respect love my work or encourage me. Oops! I just stepped over my goal of my work being published. Oops, I just stepped over my goal of (fill in blanks). And as you circle, you pass people who are running to catch up and pass you as you run to catch up and pass someone else.


A writer, Michael M. Hughes, is a guest at helluo librorum, and after reading his experiences, this one sentence bolded in my head: “If you have even halting, tentative success, realize how lucky you are.”


So, this holiday fourth of July weekend, or whatever the case may be where you are, take a moment to NOTICE just where you are Right Now, and then, take just a glance backwards to remember how excited you were when This Thing Happened—that first glow, that first happy realization that you met your goal before you left it behind and began the round and round and round.


Each success should be savored. Roll that thing in your mouth like a big piece of sweet hard candy –the good kind not the kind nobody likes –and instead of crunching through it and swallowing it, let it slowly melt before you reach for the next piece.


And remember how there is always going to be someone behind you and someone in front of you and someone running over you or pushing you out of the way, someone who sets up circle-roadblocks in front of you—but if you stop the mad dash round and round and appreciate each experience, you will find some peace.


I know every one of us will forget this advice and/or ignore it repeatedly, but for right now, we have right now.

So, tell me Right Now: what goal have you reached that you feel excited over? What are you proud of, happy about, feeling GOOD about yourself about--before you thought, "But . . . " get rid of the BUT just for today and tell me your news!


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S P E L L I N G . . .

I consider myself a pretty durn good speller. However, there are some words that trip me up every time, and with those words I have to play little games with myself. Some of those games have finally finally led me to the correct spelling without that tripping up. Most are my own made up games; however, one like the Principal/Principle I heard from somewhere or other so I know what to do when writing about the school principal versus the principle of the thing (the principal is my pal).


There’s separate—seems easy enough of a word, but I’d hesitate on it. Two a’s or one? Until I began saying to myself as I typed it: Sep – AR – Rate. Problem solved!


Shampaine, although I can’t imagine a time when I couldn’t spell champagne – oops! Ha! I just hesitated on the word until I thought in my head: sham – pag – nee. Haw!


What about obsess? – Hey! I just did it! Although I usually obsess over how many ssss’ss there are in obsess. Success—two c’s, two ss’s – this I know, but I suppose if I didn’t, I’d say in my head: Suck-Cess, teehee.



Accommodate: yup, two c's, two m's! Tomorrow Tomorrow I love ya Tomorrow - you have one M and two R's! These things I know. But sometimes the more simple the word, the more I second guess myself. Huhn.

Many of us may have words we stumble or hesitate over. Of course, if we’re writing in Word, our computer may fix it for us. But in twitter or facebook or commenting or . . . well, there just may be those times when we need to know how to spell something and spelling it correctly would be awfully nice.


What about you? What word(s) trip you up? How do you deal with it/remember to spell it right? Or, like me, are there some words you obsssesss about and can’t ever seem to remember to spell correctly?
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(Be sure to visit Dr. Mahmutovic - he's on Blog Tour for his new release "Thinner than a Hair" and I am one of this stops *smiling*)
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Update! hey - there's a place called "The Spelling Blog" - (see comments below) She gives tips and ideas for the whys and hows of spelling, et cetera

Guest Today & Books Give Away

Today my guest is Adnan Mahmutovic. He is on blog tour for his new release "Thinner than a Hair."

I first met Adnan years back when I worked as a senior editor at the Rose & Thorn, before Angie and I became co-publishing editors. He wrote, and I edited, a beautiful story, "Integration Under the Midnight Sun," that captured my imagination as well as my respect for his literary gifts in writing and poetry (and he now has made a short film). Adnan lives in Sweden, so we have never met face-to-face, but I consider him to be one of my most trusted and valued friends and colleagues. It's only a matter of time before he is discovered for the talented author/poet/filmmaker he is.


I should now call him Dr. Mahmutovic! I will have to get used to that!


A little more about Dr. Adnan Mahmutovic: Adnan Mahmutović (1974-) is a Bosnian Swede, a homely exile who teaches immigrant literature at Stockholm University in daytime, and works with people with mental disorders at night.

Adnan left Bosnia and settled in Sweden in 1993. He has worked with people with different kinds of disabilities for thirteen years. In May 2010, he took his PhD in English literature at Stockholm University where he teaches a course on Love and its discontents.

I invite you to get to know Adnan. Look around his website. Read his book: be forwarned--they are intense and pull no punches!

Today I'm giving away three books as a package: Adnan's new release Thinner than a Hair, and a bonus copy of his first collection "Refuge," and as well, I am giving away a copy of my book Secret Graces ---all three books together as one give away.

To win all three books, here is what you must be the First Person to do in the comments section -- in one comment tell me:

Go to Adnan's website and tell me what is the name of his other book of fiction (hint: there is a tab called "books" on his homepage) AND go to my website and tell me what "old mountain song" lyrics I have included as part of the excerpt from the SWEETIE novel (hint: there is a SWEETIE tab on my home page)

Good Luck! First person to give me the correct answers in one comment wins all three books!

UPDATE: Hi y'all - Marisa Birns is the winner of the books so CONGRATS Marisa!