tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post817490414614119080..comments2023-10-06T04:46:41.176-04:00Comments on KATHRYN MAGENDIE: When did food become the (my) enemy? "I just want to be healthy!" is that a lie?Kathryn Magendiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12863595228298349863noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-27153901366320483972009-10-24T08:50:22.839-04:002009-10-24T08:50:22.839-04:00I could have written a good part of this post. I ...I could have written a good part of this post. I have been on the weight roller coaster most of my life. It is a bitch I can tell you but you know, I workout, I feel great, I eat fairly well and most of all my blood work and blood pressure are great. I don't get my panties in a bunch anymore over it like I used too. When I met The Hubby I wore a size 1 and that was unrealistic for me. Actually, I didn't eat and when we started dating well that was it. He introduced me to take out food. There was none in my little town. The battle then began but I'm okay with me now. Don't worry about it much. Just keep plogging along. Lots of "food" for thought here.Jill of All Tradeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00075357751662738806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-83918186789002773992009-10-24T00:29:57.020-04:002009-10-24T00:29:57.020-04:00No. You shouldn't hate the photo. It's fab...No. You shouldn't hate the photo. It's fabulous, Kat. You look beautiful and happy and shapely. Heck, you look fantastic. Your <i>body</i> looks fantastic.<br /><br />I never did the yo-yo thing. I just haven't been willing to go there. I'd rather be fat. And yes, I <i>am</i> fat, by anybody's standards. <br /><br />Two years ago, I was even fatter. I was morbidly obese, and I was miserable. Heartburn, carpal tunnel, and gall bladder problems were daily issues, and I slept on an incline to keep from inhaling acid reflux in my sleep. <br /><br />Then I had a health scare (turned out to be high cholesterol, but I thought I had diabetes). I changed my diet and started exercising. I lost forty pounds and three jean sizes. Within three months, I'd brought my cholesterol down about fifty points. The heartburn, carpal tunnel and gall bladder issues are gone (once in a great while, if I eat fatty foods, I'll get a short-lived ghost of the discomfort I used to have daily).<br /><br />It's been a year since I've lost any weight, though I've maintained the lifestyle changes. Though I haven't regained any weight, I'm still fat. I wear plus-size clothing, and I'm officially obese (defined as having a BMI higher than 30). <br /><br />But here's the thing: I don't care. I <i>feel</i> great. My body works really well. I sleep well, and I'm strong and healthy.<br /><br />I don't say "I just want to be healthy." Truth is, I'd LOVE it if I lost and lost and lost. Heck, I'd be delighted to comfortably wear a Size 14! But I don't want it badly enough to obsess over it enough to get it. <br /><br />I like my body. Sure I'd freak a little if I started gaining, partly because of the specter of those miserable nights of heartburn and partly because I have really cute clothes in this size (<i>really</i> cute!). But if I spend the rest of my life obese, active, and happy -- with reasonable blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar levels -- that's <i>sooo</i> more than OK.<br /><br />No, I don't "just" want to be healthy. But I <i>do</i> want to be healthy, and if healthy for me is obese, then I can live with that. <br /><br />Heck, I can rejoice over it because whether or not I "just" want to be healthy, I AM healthy! And that's worth celebrating.Katrina Stonoffhttp://stonoff.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-70776233842078368902009-10-23T21:51:28.630-04:002009-10-23T21:51:28.630-04:00but i didn't see a butterball in any of the pi...but i didn't see a butterball in any of the pics, no chunky no chubby just a little pixie :)as my mom would say.Analisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05572966946453192369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-91078862094741266772009-10-23T21:37:08.290-04:002009-10-23T21:37:08.290-04:00Kat,
I wrote a long response and then it hit me, I...Kat,<br />I wrote a long response and then it hit me, I can't even talk about it.Analisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05572966946453192369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-15910011637550717892009-10-23T19:36:41.860-04:002009-10-23T19:36:41.860-04:00It makes me mad for you that the picture taken on ...It makes me mad for you that the picture taken on one of the coolest days of your life speaks fat to you. And you were so not a butterball. <br /><br />I can relate to everything you've written here, and really appreciate your reflections. When I was a kid there was a clothing line/size range called Chub Deb. I thought it was named after me and putting me in those clothes was one of my mom's standard threats.<br /><br />Even in menopause, it's not easy loving my body, but it's one of my primary goals these days. She's taken a lot of abuse and neglect and carries me miles every day. And I want her to continue to carry me for quite a few more years.Deb Shuckahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439395710731341021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-13157040676335898112009-10-23T13:23:10.677-04:002009-10-23T13:23:10.677-04:00I must have more testosterone than most women beca...I must have more testosterone than most women because my obvious weight gain over the years doesn't bother me very often...even with the addition of having a super thin identical twin. Maybe I'm meaner, and will not allow some scabooble-headed person from my child- or teenhood define for me what is good, right, nice looking. <br /><br />Food has always been a good and faithful companion, but not one that dominates me or my life. <br /><br />It breaks my heart that two of the people I love most on this planet both war with food and both think that controlling it (food) lets them control other bad/negative areas of their lives they cannot and never will be able to. <br /><br />Great post. <br /><br />Love from the chunky monkey who loves herself!Angie Ledbetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16407006980893727627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-48057944582426084632009-10-23T13:06:48.641-04:002009-10-23T13:06:48.641-04:00What a fantastic post. Lots of places to go with i...What a fantastic post. Lots of places to go with it, lots to think about, lots to be angry about if we let ourselves. I think of the many, many images of the Jennifer Hewitts we’ve been shown throughout our lives, the subliminal suggestions that we should strive toward that kind of look, the notion that only “thin” is considered sexy. Our self images have been kidnapped and culturally contaminated. It’s no wonder we try ridiculous solutions to live up to those impossible images. It’s seeded so deep in us that, even if we don’t suffer from some ridiculous comment made by some idiotic jerk (or photographer, ex- husband, whatever), then we end up sabotaging ourselves. It’s crazy. It’s got to be one of the many reasons why eating disorders are an epidemic in this country. <br />I share your love/hate relationship with food. But for me it started in my late teens when I realized that my body was a little rounder than others. I don’t even remember how the notion came to me .. maybe some marketing ad, likely some attention from the opposite sex (or lack thereof). But up until then, I’d been pudgy, happy and healthy. And man did I love mom’s country cooking! But something snapped and I got myself pretty wrapped up in it. I did some ridiculous things to control my weight (insert plethora of eating disorders). And then there was the time I had my wisdom teeth pulled the day before Thanksgiving intentionally rendering myself unable to eat. I was that freaked out about gaining a little weight. Sure the teeth had to come out anyway, but wouldn’t any normally balanced person have scheduled it for another time of year? And how I loved being pregnant! Those were the only two times in my life when I could be “huge” and be totally okay with it. <br />There’s an older and wiser me now whose learned some hard lessons from all that maniacal behavior. I have a completely different relationship with food and a greater acceptance for what I am, naturally. Now I pay more attention to quality and don’t do anything squirrely to try to control my size. I do what I think is wholesome and leave the rest to nature. Hell, it’s taking over anyway! And I try to avoid three things: 1) negative self talk, 2) thinking I should have the same body I did ten years ago, 3) being naked in front of the mirror (just in case the first two don’t work). <br />As for men, I think you’re right, they do see this issue differently. I think there are many reasons for this but I wonder how much of it comes from the fact that they haven’t been objectified as long as women.Linda Leschakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07635926863962198064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-32159898576130465332009-10-23T12:10:12.465-04:002009-10-23T12:10:12.465-04:00I almost never give any thought to how healthy som...I almost never give any thought to how healthy some food is. I only want to know if I like it or not. Thankfully, my tastes do not run to melted cheeses, cream sauces, and other things that put weight on in small doses. On the other hand, I love carbs. Breads? I can eat a loaf of good bread, with butter or jam, in one sitting, washing it all down with a couple of big glasses of milk.<br /><br />Women obsess about weight much more than men, obviously. A guy will look in the mirror, see a little sag or a bit of gut and say, "Huh. Not bad for a (fill-in-the-age) guy.", whereas women become devastated.<br /><br />So much of that has to do with women's own reactions to other women. Sure, men will be hideous in their comments sometimes, but women are much more likely to insult someone else (female) because of their body looks, in my experience. Your mileage may vary, but that's what I've found.<br /><br />Anyway, I think you look sexy and cute in the photo, if that helps.Suldoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07778845367184916684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-8136221776777147252009-10-23T10:56:05.187-04:002009-10-23T10:56:05.187-04:00I am reading all your comments -
Someone somewhe...I am reading all your comments - <br /><br />Someone somewhere said that attitudes towards the overweight was the last area where there is not "protection" -- or "politically correct guidelines"... so, they said, we take care of how and what we say to other races, or genders/gender blends, or sexual orientation . . . but, somehow it is still "allowed" that people can insult and berate the overweight...somehow, they are not afforded immunity from insult....<br /><br />huhn...what do you think of that?Kathryn Magendiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12863595228298349863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-55083883406184893902009-10-23T09:59:32.861-04:002009-10-23T09:59:32.861-04:00This woman thought she looked a bit chunky in this...<i>This woman thought she looked a bit chunky in this photo, so she decided she best not eat any "bad" foods for a while...and thus lost a few of those horrid nasty pounds . . . she hates the photo; should she?</i><br /><br />No, she shouldn't hate the photo. I wish I looked that good in a black dress.<br /><br />Never be afraid to open up, because so many people can give you helpful insight on such things.<br /><br />I agree with Sandra Leigh. The photographer needs a good belt upside his blind head.Michelle H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10117937124348728578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-29951578387519840722009-10-23T08:15:03.136-04:002009-10-23T08:15:03.136-04:00I never used to think about food. Well, no that...I never used to think about food. Well, no that's not true. I used to think about food all the time and eat all the time and go back for seconds and eat anything I wanted and never put on an ounce.<br /><br />Until I turned 50.<br /><br />Since then I still think about food all the time but gain weight just by sniffing a pie baking in the oven. <br /><br />Life is strange.Barryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13824632356834631279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-14823675798698606752009-10-23T05:53:15.459-04:002009-10-23T05:53:15.459-04:00food=weight gain=enemy (FWG=E) has been my enemy s...food=weight gain=enemy (FWG=E) has been my enemy since my 'first love'. prior to him, i had normal thoughts about food. post-ahole, normal thoughts converted to FWG=E.<br />theorum background: "if you weren't so fat, i wouldn't have X" (fill in: lied, cheated on you, beat you, humiliated you, etc). at 19, it's not so hard to understand internalizing/accepting blame, even when you shouldn't. but accept it i did in order to try to fix the problem (me) and save the "love". <br />somehow, that early seed has burrowed in and remained a nasty tentacled weed at the core of my self image. natch, the man in my life has 3 non-negotiables. number one is "do not get fat". <br />so, FWG=E is wrapped up in securing/keeping a man/feeling worthy of love. <br />...but that aint all of it. <br />FWG=E has worse roots. somehow through the traumas and dramas of the years, my "fat" (another name for food inside my head) has often been the one thing in my life i seemed to have any control over. failed marriage? (lose twenty-five pounds). rebelling teen? (3 day fast). a terminally ill parent and dealing with a pathological pill-head sibling at the same time? (GET THE HELL OFF ME, DAMN FAT!). and on and on. <br />i've learned that satan-fat just means another bad surprise is on the way. i've let my guard down and gotten comfortable when i know better. <br />at 50, the battle's getting harder. the enemy is gaining. (no pun intended). it takes more to outrun it, and lately i'm losing the war. not the weight. <br />when (if)(WHEN) i ever reach that magical size 4, will i be able to find a replacement control-formula? i dunno. scary thought, go away. <br />(FWG=E)<br />i refuse to be fat forever. i want to for once feel sexy and inshape. healthy? ok, added bonus. i want to know i can accomplish my inner vision. i want to live the reality of my dream. (and i no longer feel being thin holds all the answers or blame). i just want it for the control factor. and i want it for me. <br />thanks for having the balls to share your private thoughts. that's a fat-ass leap of faith for us private folks. <br />livesincaveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-57225665023081209722009-10-23T04:55:41.665-04:002009-10-23T04:55:41.665-04:00Who am I? A normal bloke who exercises and eats as...Who am I? A normal bloke who exercises and eats as much as he can. I completely understood and sided with you on this post because food is an issue, mainly for women. I think I am one of those lucky guys who is married to someone who doesn't give two hoots whether she puts on weight or not. And she has because she has had two children. But you know what? It also comes from confidence and the self-belief that hey! even if I am a bit over what is considered 'normal' people will still like me. And I believe that.<br /><br />Great post, it was serious and light-hearted in equal measure.<br /><br />Many thanks.<br /><br />Greetings from London.A Cuban In Londonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16423293358605007539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-39311139339501333052009-10-22T21:20:14.444-04:002009-10-22T21:20:14.444-04:00Thank you for being so open and honest. I have had...Thank you for being so open and honest. I have had a battle with food for as long as I can remember. While I have never in my life been obese, food and body image haunt are a continuous issue. I lie, and I say that now that I am older that I don't have this battle. I lie and say that I accept my menopausal weight gain and that I'm working on being healthy. Most of the time it's my silent secret battle but today you opened the door to talking about it. <br /><br />This is a great post that many women need to read. Thank you. You've given me much to ponder on tonight! XXOOLorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04441204804740501624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-45539258617710580322009-10-22T18:43:40.445-04:002009-10-22T18:43:40.445-04:00Kat, the words I associate with you are thus: tale...Kat, the words I associate with you are thus: talented, deep, vivacious, thoughtful. Never once chunky. And not in any single photo. Butterball? Never! That ridiculous man was in the wrong business, if you ask me.<br /><br />It's an important topic, and the honesty is even moreso. Thanks for tackling this in a post!Janna Leadbetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-55985891304097847372009-10-22T18:13:10.723-04:002009-10-22T18:13:10.723-04:00many parts of your post I can relate to very well,...many parts of your post I can relate to very well, for I have done the same thing. you are not weird or alone in this struggle at all! I go up and down alot, just had back surgery in May so I have put on weight, about 15 pounds. my weight is not really the problem, I need to tone up, so yes that means exercise. I always feel better though when I exercise(physically and mentally) and sleep better also.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13347204411744571682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-9946256759997576672009-10-22T18:06:49.056-04:002009-10-22T18:06:49.056-04:00I was so nervous opening up the comments - what di...I was so nervous opening up the comments - what did I expect? That people would be aghast that I opened up about this subject? *smiling* I guess opening up about something personal like this is difficult - especially for someone as private as I am . . . but, just as Rick says, it's such an emotional issue and I've been watching and listening and experiencing for so long--and lately, it seems to have morphed and grown -the issue of weight and looks (aging, included--we're not allowed to age now, we must stay young forever! geez!). <br /><br />I wonder if women view this differently than men do? It would seem that way. Hmm, I asked the same thing about kids who are abandoned or given up - are women treated differently than men? -- I suppose in all areas men and women are treated differently: aging, weight, children, the way a house looks(inside and out), work, play . . .Kathryn Magendiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12863595228298349863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-14842799633298866322009-10-22T17:42:49.851-04:002009-10-22T17:42:49.851-04:001. Find that photographer and slap him upside the ...1. Find that photographer and slap him upside the head.<br /><br />2. You look great in all those photos. No, you were/are not a butterball.<br /><br />3. Re: the people who made negative comments on your weight gain -- some people should learn to mind their own business.<br /><br />4. Thank you for this post. It's like a mirror.<br /><br />S.Sandra Leighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12052047359365369942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-82552222588112865622009-10-22T16:27:14.331-04:002009-10-22T16:27:14.331-04:00How brave to open up about this. I have battled we...How brave to open up about this. I have battled weight since forever. I hate it. But love food. I constantly remind myself that, I need to eat to live, not live to eat. (yeah, right) See, you're not the only one. <br /><br />Hey, we're not all so much diff.<br />I think writing this with your characters will make them relate to a host of people!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17012982939454873340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-25535629201856686912009-10-22T15:01:44.315-04:002009-10-22T15:01:44.315-04:00First off, you look fabulous in your photos! That ...First off, you look fabulous in your photos! That photographer was a total %@!#. <br /><br />It ticks me off that we’re conditioned to feel this way—damn those evil advertising and marketing machines. I know, there are health issues to consider, but I’ve been 105 lbs and living with dizziness and fatigue is not healthy. <br /><br />I’m an overall eat to live type. For me it’s seasonal, when I’m busy in the summer my size drops and in the winter—up it goes. I keep three sizes in my closet… <br /><br />I’d like to lie and say age has made me comfortable with who I am—and for the most part that would be true--but if the phone rings today and we’re invited to some swank affair *snort* I’m afraid my first reaction would be “OMG I’ve got to lose 20 lbs!” Ugh! Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01603891627784763004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-48324203432550470472009-10-22T14:32:48.787-04:002009-10-22T14:32:48.787-04:00I've battled food my whole life too. I was a ...I've battled food my whole life too. I was a chubby kid and when I got older, I did like you and lost a ton of weight, and yes, got too skinny. I'm not skinny now, but I'm not fat, and I'm happy where I am. Food is no longer my enemy.Susan R. Millshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09578747592345750650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-57809563792435998972009-10-22T14:06:12.813-04:002009-10-22T14:06:12.813-04:00I hate how society has made it so that healthy wom...I hate how society has made it so that healthy women feel fat. I hate how a size 2 is not considered too thin.<br /><br />http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.comHarlem's A Hatinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17927234771768698718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6173191469938389438.post-19053559658741389362009-10-22T14:04:16.473-04:002009-10-22T14:04:16.473-04:00I never spend any time thinking about food, Kathry...I never spend any time thinking about food, Kathryn, and that sometimes makes for uncomfortable conversation with people who do think about it. The lady who lives next door to me has a constant battle with this issue as does most of her family. Whenever food comes up in conversation, I end up having to find a good reason to back out of the room and head home, before they get upset with whatever I say or do not say on the topic. It seems to be a terribly emotionally charged issue that hurts so many nice people. Thanks for discussing this. I'll tell others about this posting because it is important to talk about. Nobody should ever be hurt by others due to body weight issues.Rickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14546882686381428986noreply@blogger.com